Lovely | B.E

S i x t y - e i g h t

Walking out of Finns old room at 3am again getting ready to leave. Since the day we all watched a movie together Maggie and Patrick said it was stupid to rent out a hotel room, since i sold my house when billie was being stalked, when there is a free room here.

I walk downstairs preparing my daily waking up tea in a travel mug before going back up stairs in the room getting ready to head out to the arena.

Putting on my classic uniform, a black polo and black cargos, before sitting in front of the mirror getting everything I need on my desk from the drawer.

I started doing the light makeup I usually do before there was a knock on my door. I was listening to music so maybe it was too loud and woke someone up. I hope not.

I opened the door and saw a Billie standing on the other side of the doorway frame clear been crying.

Straight away she brings herself into a hug crying into my shoulder while I just stood there not knowing what to do.

"you okay?"  I ask patting her on her back a couple of times clearly awkward around the situation. Obviously she is not okay but what would you in this scenario when your ex, that you live with, shows up outside your bedroom door in the middle of the night crying.

"Just hold me" she said leaning more into me so i wrap my arms around her in return. I mean i have to be at the venue in 2 hours so if i can do anything to get her asleep as quick as i can ill do it. I cant be late for my first day on the job.

"i miss you yknow. I think about you everyday. What your doing, whether your thinking about me at that exact moment too. Then i tell myself it will never happen again. I will never be able to get you back. I realise now that what happened with Liv was a mistake on my part and i should have not even thought about doing anything but i did. I was the one that broke the relationship, im the one that broke your trust so i am the one that is going to rebuild our relationship. The internet still thinks we are dating so im gonna try it my best to keep it that way while maybe also trying to get you back at the same time." Billie said while sniffling once she calmed down.

I wish she didnt do it at all. Yeah i still wear the promise ring on my finger, maybe because its currently stuck, but she wears her too. She still cares about me. I mean yeah it could be part of her plan to hurt me either more while getting good publicity on the whole situation.

"Okay maybe one day" i say standing up while heading to the door "Im sorry i have to go to work but ill be home later if you wanna watch a movie or smth" i say before walking down to the kitchen. It is way to early for that conversation.

I pick up my backpack that held all the stuff i needed and headed to my jeep.

-

All day i couldn't get the conversation of Billie out of my head. A whole 12 hour shift and i was stilll thinking  about whether what she was saying was true. I mean does she love me or is she just lying to get attention. i wish everything didn't have to be this complicated. Like why cant someone say i want to have a relationship with you but im gonna end up hurting with you so don't get attached. That would be so much easier.

On my drive home i wondered whether i should stop at the shops. Maybe if Billie took me up on that offer she would want some snacks that we don't have in the house. But she is the one trying to get my love back so shouldn't she be doing this? But what if i don't put any effort in and it just hurts her and something bad happens then everyone will hate me. I'm just going to buy something then in that case if she didn't want to do anything then i have extra snacks i can eat in my room watching the movie by myself.

Takis, check. sour patch kids, check. Cheetos, check. pringles, check. Jolly ranchers, check. nerds check and Swedish fish, check. Everything ready for an amazing movie night by myself or not.

I drive back home at normal speed, not being in a rush but not wanting to stay out of the house. I pick the fastest way I could to get home knowing that there is a sofa with my name on it for the rest of the day. On the way driving onto the street all my thoughts were what films are we going to watch. I mean i know she prefers films like Fruitville station but im kind of in a Disney/Pixar mood. I park my car in the emypty driveway telling me i have the house to myself. I put the most baggiest clothes i own on and head onto the sofa with all my food and turned on Wreck it Ralph to start off the movie night.

About 3/4 into my second film, UP, the door opens revealing Billie and her friend Zoe. Me and Zoe didn't get along in the start, Maybe it was because i was jealous how much time she spent with billie but now we are on good terms i think.

"You started the films without us i see" Billie said smirking, walking into the room. Us? whos us? i invited you. you know to rekindle our relationship and maybe see if i can bare to look at you.

"Mhm" i said while looking back at the screen. Maybe im not as important to her as i thought i was.

-1014 words