F i f t y

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Okay all i have to do is go to talk to Reese. It not going to be that bad right. Who am i kidding i literally cheated on her last night not that i remember anything but still. She doesn't know so thats on my side but its how long i can not tell her about it is the problem. She is literally an angel yet i still have the ability to hurt her. What the hell is wrong with me.

I knock on the door that Finneas came out of and slowly opened it "Reese?" As i open it more and more i see Reese lying on the sofa asleep with Klara in her arms watching something on her phone. As i got closer i could see she's being crying. Like a lot. Her eyes look puffy with dried mascara rolled down her face.

I pick her head up, sit down and place her head on my lap as I stroke her hair. I just sit there watching both of them. This is what i need a family i cant hurt her. If she ever finds out im never going to forgive myself.

"Hey baby" I get Klaras attention and she instantly smiles looking at me

"Mama" she yells but its partly muffled from having her pacifier in her mouth.

"shush baby mamas sleeping okay." she nodded and slowly made her way towards me making sure not to wake up Reese. "Did you and mama have fun yesterday" i asked. I hope they did

"No mama sad. Mama cried" she had a sad look on her face while looking down at Reese. If hurting Reese was enough I hurt my baby as well. We had a small conversation mainly because she can only say a couple of words and i let her carry on watching 'Ben and Holly's little kingdom'. It was something that Reese watched when she was little and wanted to see if Klara would watch it. Now she watches it religiously.

There was a knock on the door and Finn came in whispering "They need you for soundcheck" and then he left. I got up and gently put Reese's head down on a cushion. I grabbed a blanket and put it over her and kissed the top of her head. "Stay with mama okay baby girl and ill see you later"

"Promise" she looked up at me making those sad eyes like she doesn't think im going to come back.

"I promise and try to have a nap okay" i kissed the top of her head and started soundcheck. We did the songs that i didn't sing yesterday and then i went back into the room seeing the Reese and Klara is asleep. I made the blanket to go over both of them and walked back out of the room not wanting to disturb them.

I found an empty room, leant up against the wall and thought about what i was doing. What i was going to do. Like it was magic my phone buzzed.

Unknown
Hey its Liv. I just wanted to say i had fun at the club last night

oh hey yeah it was good. Im glad i met  you and the girls

Well we were kinda wondering if you wanna come out next month with us
We usually make plans in advance so everyone could join

That sounds cool ill check and see what im doing and when im free

an hour or so later Finn walks in and sighed not making eye contact with me "The show is starting they need you to get mic'ed up" and left without waiting for me to respond.

I get up and start walking to the side of the stage watching Girl in red sing one of her last songs. I see Reese on the side of stage doing her job but also singing along. She really does love her music.

I got my earpiece in and head under the stage into a box ready to pop up. Yep thats how i enter. I get launched into the air. In my ear i heard someone go "5,4,3,2,1" with that i get launched up and the crowd yells louder. I stand there for a second looking at everyone with my rbf face on before bad guy starts playing.

The setlist went Bad Guy, My strange addiction, You should see me in a crown, Idontwannabeyouanymore, watch, Bitches broken hearts, copycat, when i was older, wish you were gay,xanny, all the good girls go to hell, ilomilo, when the partys over, bellyache, ocean eyes, i love you, Listen before i go, bury a friend and then goodbye playing as i go off the stage.

As i finished Bellyache i started talking to the fans to let my voice have a little break for the second time tonight. "Are y'all good?" i ask into the mic leaving everyone yelling over eachother. I looked through the pit at everyone making sure everyone is okay. Thankfully they are. "Alright for this song im gonna ask to turn the flashlights on your phone on" The song comes on and the spotlight dims and there is just thousands of lights lighting up the arena. "I want to dedicate these last couple of song to Reese" i manage to say tearing up slightly. Everyone screams and it slowly dies down as i start singing

"You really know how to make me cry when you give me those ocean eyes. Those ocean eyesssss" i sing stretching out the s.

I look down at Reese and see her crying slightly. I love you starts playing and i start singing as i go up by Finn's keyboard grabbing some tissues and heading back down. Just before the chorus I tap of Reese's shoulder handing her the tissue and then walking to the stool as i feel my ankles becoming weaker.

"We fall apart as it gets dark im in your arms in central park theres nothing- " my voice breaks into the mic as tears roll down my cheeks thinking about the situtation between me and Reese right now. The crowd yells words of encouragement out and continues the song finishing it for me.

'Listen before I go' starts playing and all-throughout the song my voice breaks as i try to hide the fact that im nearly crying. As goodbye plays I wave at everyone, blowing kisses and giving them air hugs before running off the stage and into the room i was in earlier before locking the door and crying into my hands. If i was Reese i would never want to talk to me again let alone look at me. Im going to have to tell her about last night. I need there to be trust but i just dont want to loose everything.

-1140 words

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