The cure for my madness

Part 26: Nervosity

It felt like I was going to throw up just thinking about meeting his parents. He has told me about and how open and friendly they are. I had no idea how I could make a good impression on them. I was the nicest I could be to Marcus' parents but they still hated me.They completely froze me out when Marcus' sister got married. They cut me out of photos and didn't talk to me at all, just because I said I wasn't ready for marriage. It disappointed his parents a lot that I didn't want to marry their son at that moment. But this is obviously so different because Alex's parents are different people and I shouldn't judge them before I have even met them.

When do u finish work again?

His texts always distract me from working.

In 30 minutes, but I have to go home and change

See you at your place then <3

I lied to him because I actually already finished work, but I needed some time alone to process things. My brain kept coming up with excuses not to go to his parents because it would be too much to see them already, I'm just not ready. I couldn't tell him that I wasn't ready, he would wonder what was wrong with me. It's an obvious thing to meet your boyfriend's parents and it's expected of me as a girlfriend to be excited. Excitement was something I felt though but the anxious feeling took over. I decided to pretend that I had an extreme headache that was killing me. It was believable considering I just came from work. As soon as I decided that, a light knock on the door caught my attention before the door opened.

- "Dol? Where are you?"

Panicked rushed through my body. I instantly went to my couch and hid myself under my blanket and I tried to look as tired as possible, putting on my best act.

- "Hey, sorry I don't feel well." I was almost fooling myself with my fake tired voice.

- "What's wrong babe?" He seemed so worried and concerned over me and he started to feel my forehead.

- "I- I'm just exhausted after work."

- "Do you want me to cancel tonight with my parents or can I do something so you feel better?

- "Well..." He cared so much about my well being it made me feel guilty that I was lying.

- "Don't feel pressured if you aren't well."

- "I don't have the energy to see them, sorry."

- "That's such a shame, my mom was so excited to see you and she already started dinner." I just nodded my head, agreeing that it was a shame. A big shame that I lied to him, my own boyfriend. Why couldn't I have been honest? I always made things more complicated than they could have been. I felt tears coming in my eyes, the guilt was too heavy.

- "Don't cry Dol, I'm not mad that we can't go. I didn't mean to give you guilty feelings over that." As he said that he hugged me.

- "I lied Al."

- "What do you mean?"

- "I mean I lied about not feeling well."

- "Why would you do that?"

- "It's because I'm nervous."

- "So you lie when you are nervous?" He seemed annoyed at me and I was worried he would scream at me or be totally mad.

- "No, but it makes me extremely nervous to meet them."

- "Why wouldn't you just talk to me about it? Lying makes everything much worse." I couldn't talk to him, he would never understand.

- "It's complicated Alex."

- "Just talk to me, please." He took my hands and looked at me and genuinely seemed to care. I had to talk to him about it, he knew some about Marcus already.

- "Well last time I met someone's parents it didn't end well."

- "Marcus parents?"

- "Yeah and they were very pushy with questions about the future and so judgemental"

- "I can guarantee you that my parents won't be like that. I have brought a lot of girls home and they have been so accepting of all of them."

- "A lot of girls?" When he said that it made me confused.

- "That came out wrong, I meant every girl they have met they have liked. I know it won't take your worry away entirely but I will support you there."

- "I trust you." It made me unsure though that he said he brought a lot of girls home to them.

- "Do you want help picking what you should wear?"

- "Do you think I will dress inappropriately or something?" I said shocking, because I remember how controlling Marcus was.

- "No, no of course not. I just thought that sometimes you just don't know what to wear. I was just trying to offer my help."

- "I can do it myself, but thanks for offering yourself." I replied and tried desperately to seem happy. His comment made me doubt but I tried to ignore it and focus on having a good night with his parents.

- "Don't forget to pack because we are staying over there."

- "I won't!"

I packed myself a little bag with my necessities and then we went to his car. He opened the door for me and gave me a smile and I forced one back. During the car ride it was an awkward atmosphere around us, no words left our lips.

- "You ready?"  His question made me realize that we spent the entire ride in silence. I looked out of the window and saw a house he stopped by.

- "What? Yeah I'm fine."

- "Are you nervous? You look pale." I noticed my hands were cold and shaking.

- "A bit."

- "They will love you, I swear." He tried to comfort me by holding my hand. I didn't notice that I gave him a certain look.

- "What's wrong?"

- "Nothing." I said with an annoyed tone.

- "Tell me."

- "Nothing is wrong. Let's go now." I got out of the car and grabbed my bag and slammed the door and walked to the door.

- "Why do you act so strange?" He tried to talk to me but I just focused on knocking on the door. Before he could ask me again the door opened and a couple opened the door.