semi automatic

sixteen

˗ˏˋ ★ 'ˎ˗

tyler's eyes widened. he thought he would have to be the one to break the ice. he set his his drink on the table and looked at her. his mind was complete silent, not even a whisper of a thought.

she wasn't even looking at him when she said it. in all honesty.. she want even sure why she said it. was it true, yes of course but he didn't need to know, he didn't deserve to know. why should the man who scared her into wanting him have the right to know she misses him. she swears she losing it just as bad as he did.

she heard his breath hitch, making her eye twitch. with her head still hung low she sat on the couch, still not looking up at him. not daring to. knowing that his eyes are stuck on her, so full of hope. she wouldn't be able to bare it. so, she sat there. not saying anything else. looking at the black chipped coffee table.

tyler looked at her, watched her. his heart felt like it was beating three times the normal amount. there was a lump in the back of his throat. he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. he couldn't tell if he was coming down with a fever, a cold sweat breaking across his nose. 

"you did?" he asked. it sounded foreign, hearing his voice sound so small. they were both used to his loud, demanding, sure-of-himself demeanor.

she nodded and continued to look down. all tyler wanted was for her to look at him, he needed to see her eyes. before he could think, he walked towards her. he knelt down beside the couch. a timid hand fell upon her knee. tyler breathed her in. the smell of snow, vanilla, and petrichor. she looked down at his hand, they were cold. she wanted to put her hand in his and warm them for him, but she couldn't.

she wouldn't.

he squeezed his eyes shut and his head twitched. breathing through his mouth, he looked up at her. "i am sorry," he paused. his lips pursed as he saw her eyes flicker towards his. his heart began thump against his weak ribcage. and his bones started to ache as his touch on her knee became light. "i wanna tell you everything, but josh .. he would never forgive me. but i cant.. i cant lose you again."

he intended to use the word again loosely, knowing that there was never truly a time where she was his. 

his breath hitched as she sat up. his hand falling from her knee, losing the warmth he had been longing for. she tucked hair behind her ear and let out a shaky breath. there was sun coming in through the blinds and he thought she looked angelic. the sun was hitting her skin, making her glow. her eyes though red and now glittering with unshed tears, she looked lovely. 

her eyes looked towards his. and tyler could feel his body stop working. his bones turned to water as his stomach started to ache. he brought his hand up to her cheek, stopping before he touched her. looking into her eyes for any sign of hatred, for any sign of dismay, for any sign of longing. he wanted to give her an out, to pull away from his touch. but when she didn't, his heart leapt to his throat.

his hand cupped her cheek, and he pulled her close. he rested his forehead against hers as their eyes slipped shut. tyler squeezed his eyes shut when she let out a breathy cry. he felt a tear fall onto his cheek and he wrapped his other arm around her waist. he slowly and gently pulled her onto the floor with him. her face hid in his neck while she cried. and tyler rested his head atop hers. 

"i forgive you."

AUTHORS NOTE
i know this is really really short 
compared to other chapters and
i know its been MONTHS 
since ive updated this and i promise
i will continue this story !! 
theres still things to come soo 
pls stick w me .. 
ok ily bye <3