semi automatic

seventeen

˗ˏˋ ★ 'ˎ˗

hours had gone by and the two still sat there. on the floor with their backs pressed against the couch. her face was still hidden in his neck, like she was shielding herself. from what, tyler wasn't sure. he just hoped it wasn't him.

he held her like his life depended on it. his arms were circled around her waist. every now and then he would come and brush a piece of stray hair from her eyes. it had gotten dark out, from what he could tell peeking through her blinds. he didn't mind, he wanted to stay like this all night if he could. and he would do anything to make that happen.

to finally have her in his arms again.

her words were still echoing in his head. i forgive you. it was a soft whisper, almost muted from her tears. but tyler heard it. and he would never forget it. his chest felt like it was going to cave in on itself. his bones felt like they were returning to a solid matter and the ache in his stomach dissipated. he felt calm, and he felt collected. he could've sworn that he would never hear her utter those words towards him after what he had done. he felt that the words were too good for him. he didn't deserve to hear them. not from anybody, but especially .. not from her.

she's too good for him. but he never wants to admit that; as selfish as it sounds. a part of him- the twisted part, still wants her all to himself. he knows he won't have to worry about awsten, but who's to say someone else won't step in and try to take her away. he can't go through that again. yet he doesn't want to force her, but what other way is there.

his head twitched as everything became too much for him. his fingers tightened around her waist. nails imprinting a crescent moon shape into uncovered skin. she hissed and tylers eyes shot open. he looked down and loosened his grip. he muttered a meager sorry, he felt sick again.

she shook her head, "it's alright," she breathed. her head resting on his shoulder. her face no longer hiding away in crook of his neck. "i could tell you were in your head a little."

her voice was so light, it felt like clouds. tyler's lips curled up as he leaned his head back to get a better look at her. her eyes were tired. her lips not curled nor were they frowning. but rather they were content. such as her eyebrows and her limbs. she was comfortable. and tyler was soaring. he leaned his cheek on top of her head and breathed.

"i want to tell you everything," he whispered. a lump started to form in his throat. and no matter hiw many time he swallowed, it sat there. swelling by the second. "i want to tell you more then what i did that night. i need you to know the real me."

he sat up straight and turned his body towards her, her doing the same. her brows were now knitted, and tyler for some reason loved the look on her. she leaned forward and grabbed his hands. there was a stark contrast between how cold his were to the warmth that radiated off of her. it was everything tyler needed.

"i don't want you to be scared of me."

her bedroom was dark. a sad comparison to how he last saw it. the white walls were almost yellow. her blankets were vibrant. as were the clothes scattered across the floor. now, everything was grey. her walls were charcoal and her bed was as pitch black as night. it was comforting in way to tyler, but not with her.