My mom has been making my life a lot worse than it already is. That sounds terrible but it's true. My mental health is terrible right now, I am kinda suicidal, I feel helpless and like everything is my fault, and she's just adding to it. I can't deal with this anymore. I need to go somewhere, I don't know where but I need to go. I can't drive so I put on a ton of layers because it's December in Buffalo.
I put on a long sleeve shirt, crewneck, hoodie, a light jacket, and a heavy winter jacket. Then I put on leggings, multiple pairs of sweat pants, and snow pants. I also put on multiple layers of socks and warm boots to keep my feet warm. I grab my phone, a charger, my airpods, wallet, and a hat before leaving the house. I don't know where to go. All my friends are out tonight and I can't stay the night out here. I can barely see because of all the snow.
I take out my phone and scroll through my contacts. I see Rasmus's name and sigh. We're not super close but he's the only choice I have. I hit call and place the phone up to my ear. Just when I am about to lose hope, he picks up. "Hey Y/n what's up?" His sleepy voice says through the phone. "Ras are you home?" I ask. "Yeah why?" He says. "Can I come over?" I say. "Do you need me to come get you?" He asks. Although we aren't super close he knows about my relationship with my mom.
"Um, no I think I'll be okay." I say. "You can't drive how are you getting here?" He asks. "I'm walking." I respond. "No way. Where are you? You must be freezing." He says. I can hear things moving and keys jingling. "Um, the 48th bus stop on main street." I say. "Okay, don't move. I will be there as fast as I can." He says. "Okay." I say, sitting down on the bench. "Don't hang up on me." He says. "Alright." I answer, beginning to feel the cold seeping trough my layers.
"Y/n no matter what happens it will be okay. You can stay with me for however long you need. Just please stay on that bench where you'll be safe. Don't walk anywhere." He says. "I'm staying here." I respond. I see a bridge to the right of me and a quick thought pops into my head. No, Y/n. Stay on the bench. It's not worth it. Rasmus is coming. "Y/n, hello?" I hear his voice. I must have been zoning. "I'm here, just thinking." I reply.
"About what?" He asks. "There's a bridge to the right of me and my intrusive thoughts took over." I say. "Don't get off the bench." He says sternly. "Ras, I'm not going to. I'm waiting for you." I say. "You must be freezing baby." He says. Baby? Rasmus has never called me a nickname let alone baby. "I have layers on." I reply. "It's 20 degrees and snowing outside. No layers can keep you warm enough." He says. "I'll be okay." I respond.
"Im pulling onto the street." He says. "Okay." I stand up, seeing headlights down the street. His car stops in front of me and I hang up the phone before opening the car door. I get in and it feels so nice, it's so warm. "Let me feel your hands." He says, taking my hands in his. "Baby, your hands are like icicles." He says. "I was outside for a while before I called you." I say. "Why didn't you call me before you left?" He asks. "I wasn't thinking. I just needed out." I say. "I turned up my thermostat at home before I left so it should be nice and warm for you." He says.
"Thank you." I reply. "You don't have to thank me." He says. "Aren't you tired?" He asks. I just nod. "Are you hungry?" He asks. I shake my head no. "When we get home we can lay down." He says. "My home, not your home." He says quickly. I nod. "You can have my bed if you want." He says. "Ras I want you there too." I say. "Okay, I'll keep you warm." He smiles. We pull into his driveway and both get out. He opens the door and we walk in. I take off my snowy boots at the door and start to take off my layers.
"My god Y/n, you must have been freezing." He says after locking the door. Once I'm down to one pair of sweatpants and leggings, my crewneck and long sleeve, and two pairs of socks we head into his bedroom. I'm still freezing so I leave most of my clothes on. I crawl into his bed and he covers me up before turning off the lights. Everything starts to set in and I begin to cry. Rasmus immediately gets into bed and holds me. "It's alright baby. You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you." He whispers.
I don't say anything, I can't think of anything to say. I just let my tears out into his sweater. After a while I pull away and wipe my eyes, being even more tired from crying. "I'm sorry I woke you up and you had to come get me." I apologize. "Y/n don't apologize for that. If you didn't call me you wouldn't have had anywhere to go. You would've froze to death." He says. "I just feel bad." I say. "Don't baby, I'm here for you. I know we may not be the closest but I care about you. I don't ever want to see anything happen to you." He says and kisses my forehead.
"Ras I love you." I say. "What?" He asks. "I love you. I know it's sudden but I do." I repeat myself. "Like love me as in friends or..." He starts. "No Ras, I love you as in I wouldn't mind being with you for the rest of my life. In the most romantic way, I love you." I say. "I love you too Y/n." He says. I smile and cuddle into his chest. "Thank you for giving me a place to stay and coming to pick me up." I say. "I'd do anything for you baby." He says. I peck his cheek before laying my head down and closing my eyes.
Rasmus pulls me into his body, sharing the heat with me. "Are you warm enough?" He whispers, I just nod. "Go to sleep angel." He says and kisses my head. I feel myself warm up and fall asleep in his arms.
