Black & White-English Version

24-The Queen of Diamonds

It had been six days and I still couldn't find Chishiya. I didn't know what to do and fear and depression were lurking, ready to engulf me; but I couldn't give in. I had to be strong and stay focused.

Chishiya was the smartest person I knew and I was 99% sure that he was fine and that he was planning something too. It was that 1% that tormented my soul.

I had found shelter in an apartment not far from Shibuya, and it was my base for those agonizing days. I only went back there to sleep, because I spent the days outside, looking for Chishiya.

At dawn on the seventh day, I realized that this didn't work. Furthermore, I was also due to renew my Visa that day.

What would Chishiya do now? Probably he too had been looking for me, but Tokyo was very big and with the King of Spades around and the other cards in areas far from each other, everything got complicated. Wait a minute, the cards!

I went to the window and, being on the second last floor, I had a very good view of the city. I noticed that the Queen of Diamonds was still in its place, and it was also the closest card to where I was. An epiphany came to me.

My Visa would have expired that day and so would Chishiya's, and while I was sure we were both looking for each other, a logical thing would have been to go to the nearest Arena and wait outside. And with the Queen of Diamonds as the closest Game and my boyfriend's strong suit, I was pretty sure he would go there. Of course!

I had a quick snack, then grabbed my backpack and hit the road, walking towards the Queen of Diamonds, with a new hope that gave me energy.

Soon enough, my walk turned into a light jog; thoughts chased each other in my head and I began to imagine the infinite hug I would have given to Chishiya, once we met again.

The landscape flowed in front of my eyes like in a movie and my feet were light and agile every time they touched the ground. I realized that nature was slowly taking back what was hers; there were tufts of grass sprouting between the cracks in the asphalt, vines that had begun to coat the buildings, and lots of moss here and there. It was like being in a scene from a sci-fi movie, set in the future.

That thought, made me realize brutally that the time I had spent in Borderland was much more than I thought. I had never stopped to think about it, as it was all going from one part of the city to another to find the Arenas and renew the Visa, then there was the Beach, then I fell in love and that had further altered my perception of time. For the first time, I wondered if I really would be stuck here forever, if we were all stuck here...

I looked up and saw the giant Queen of Diamonds card hanging on the blimp, just a few meters away from me. I slowed down until I stopped.

I took the water bottle out of my backpack and drank some water, then looked around. There was nobody.

Chishiya wasn't there. And there were two explanations: either he was already inside the Arena or, simply, he wasn't there.

I waited about an hour, but he didn't come and at that point I realized that maybe I got it wrong. Maybe, he had gone to another Arena.

I looked back and realized that not far from where I was, was also the Jack of Spades.

"Oh my!" I said, incredulous and angry.

How had I not seen it? Simple, I was so focused on thinking about what Chishiya would have done, that I forgot what I would have done and maybe, he had made the same reasoning as me, but in reverse. And knowing that Spades were my thing, maybe he was there.

There were a lot of maybes and my anxiety was reaching a dangerous level. I analyzed my options and since it was a 50/50, there was only one way to get some answers.