robbers// joshler

condolences will never bring him back [epilogue]

word count: 400

one week after.

ashley is holding ender. he must've missed his nap for the funeral. his head must be spinning. he probably barely understands what's happening.

"where's uncle josh?" i hear him ask ashley.

and i know he's too young to understand.

in a few years, he won't even remember joshua. 

but i'll remember him forever. he'll never leave my brain. my memory. i can remember every place he ever touched me. every word he ever said to me.

i don't think i'll ever forget his death. i don't think i can ever move past it.

im not even eighteen and i think my life is over.

-

they lower his body into to.. to a hole in the ground. everyone is holding umbrellas to keep the rain off their expensive suits. matty is over off to my right. and the anger i feel for him. is awful. i want to shoot him in the face. i want to kill him.

even though he doesn't know he killed joshua.

-

"tyler..?"

matty's standing in front of me. melanie and conan behind him. they've all approached me at the same time. probably to give their condolences.

condolences will never bring him back.

"i'm here to give you my condolences," he holds on tighter to his umbrella.

"thank you."

"would it be innaproprate to ask how he... passed?"

"yes."

"oh.. well vinyl shelf had a robbery, and i shot a person and probably killed them and then josh dies so..."

"he had a heart attack," the lie me and ashley came up with. heart attacks did run in his family.

"oh. i'm.. so sorry."

"you should be," i spit back.

matty lowers his head and walks away, most likely in shame.

"i'm so very sorry for your loss... tyler."

"thank melanie."

melanie nods and walks off.

"i... tyler i can't even explain how much im sorry. he was such a great person."

i look at the new dirt where joshua will lay forever, and how it becomes darker and darker from the rain. 

"he was."

conan puts his hand on my shoulder, "i wish you.. good in life," conan says.

he takes his hand off my shoulder and shakes his umbrella a little before walking away. 

i stare at his grave while everyone else leaves. i don't understand how they could leave so quickly. while i'm glued to the ground.

-

i come home to our empty apartment. i lay on the couch and imagine joshua's holding me tightly. i imagine his voice in my ears.

i imagine he's still here, in love, with me.

a/n: the end. i'm a junior now!! so i wanted to finish all the stories while i started my new year of school. i'm gonna finish up some stories i was reading and then i'm gonna be inactive. i love you guys so much, i know the last six months i haven't been as active as i used to be, but life got a lot for me and i kind of had to push this aside, which i'm so sorry for. but thank you for reading my stories. <3 it means so much to me.