Baby Face

Three

Harper

Have you ever put something off because you know it would cause problems?

Or because you're scared of the affect it'll have on yourself or a person or people. Like, the dentist. I put that off because in scared he'll tell me that I have seven hundred cavities, and although I don't I'm still scared to face it.

Or sorting your wardrobe out because you probably only wear quarter the amount of your clothes - let's face it, when was the last time you wore those leather look leggings?.. Exactly.

Well that's what's happening right now, no, I'm not sorting out my wardrobe or putting off the dentist.

I am in fact avoiding something a lot bigger and something a lot scarier.

I think, I might maybe, possibly, be pregnant.

I know this is a big maybe but there is a chance, and the fact I've been throwing up since 5am really increases my suspicion that I might be.

"Baby," Harry pouts brushing my clammy forehead.

I felt awful not telling him what I knew, but how could I? Harry is under so much stress I couldn't possibly burden him with this.

Not yet anyway.

My phone rang and I didn't even feel like opening my eyes to see who it was so I asked Harry to.

"It's Samantha,"

"Answer it for me, please," I croak.

"Hello?.. Hi Samantha, it's me Harry.. she's not feeling well at all, she's been throwing up for hours.. yeah she's sleeping now.. doctors not necessary just a bug I'm guessing.. yeah.. course..okay, yes..great..thank you, bye."

"She okay?" I turn my head to look at him, a smile on his face.

"She wishes you to get better and said your flight to LA is booked for six days time."

I nod. "Great,"

"She said.. she said you looked pale a couple days ago at a shoot," He frowns.

I swallow. "Yeah.. I felt weird but it was just tiredness and hunger,"

Harry looks at me for a while longer to see if I was telling the truth, he does this whenever he's suspicious of me, and usually he guess something's wrong, but this time.. this time he shrugs and smiles. "You want anything?"

I shake my head. "I'm okay here thank you, Sienna was okay going to school?"

He laughed. "She went on and on about some boy? Called Tyler Peters or something? Said he's really not nice to her apparently,"

I smile. "Probably fancies her,"

Harry nods walking into out bathroom coming back a few seconds later with a cold flannel, placing it on my forehead.

"You were burning up baby," He positions it perfectly and I feel my headache dwindle.

"I've got to go to lunch with Gemma, then meetings. You'll be okay?"

I nod. "I'll be fine, go."

He smiles kissing my cheek. "Love you,"

"Love you,"

. . .

"So.. I have some news." I grin as I sit in bed facetiming Kendall later on, it was around 5pm, Sienna was colouring in her room asking me specifically not to 'disturb her'.

"What?" She asks biting into a cucumber stick that's covered in humus. "It better include me seeing you otherwise I won't be happy,"

I laugh. "You're about to be ecstatic then.. I'm coming to LA."

Her eyes widen. "Really?! When!?!"

"Six days,"

She checks her calendar. "I'm here then, that's perfect!"

"I'm signing to LA models."

She gasps. "The same as me?!"

I nod as we both squeal.

"We have to do a shoot together!"

I agree instantly. "How amazing would that be?!" I gasp.

"I'm so happy you'll be here, is Harry coming too?"

I shake my head. "He's staying here, he has stuff to do, Sienna is staying with my mum,"

I felt horrible leaving Sienna behind but now because she's in school she has to stay, she doesn't ever complain as my mum is great and they have a great relationship.. I just wish I could take her everywhere.

"Okay we can have some girl time," She smiles.

"Yeah," I wanted to then and there tell Kendall. I wanted to tell her the secret that had been resting in the back of my head all day.

But I chickened out.

Kendall has been the greatest friend the past couple of years, people even named us #Handall on social media because of our friendship.

"So I shall see you very soon?" She smiles. "Khloe and Kylie have just arrived, we're going for brunch then to the movies."

I nod. "Have fun, speak soon."

We both smile before ending our FaceTime session.

As the smile fades the realisation sinks in that I could be pregnant. I could be introducing another life into this world, a brother or sister for Sienna, a daughter or son for Harry.

And although I was happy, I couldn't help but be overcome with guilt and sorrow, because it's not the right time for Harry or myself.

But then the bigger realisation hit me, when would be the right time for us?