In the End ~ Wednesday x Xavier ~ SLOW-BURN

Chapter 44

"my body has become a sanctuary for all the butterflies you give me."

~~~

As she sat there on her bed, she replayed every memory, every moment she could recall with that tall lanky boy who had won her heart. The memories from when they had met long ago, at the age of 10. Only flickers of it still remained, but the parts that she did remember caused the corners of her mouth to slightly lift up. 

He had the same smile then as he did now, she had realized. Except the childlike innocence had faded, leaving a broken boy who had faced the harsh sides of life on his own. It slightly saddened her, as she knew he was still working on recovering from those events. Her mind then trailed its way to the time they reconnected, when she had first arrived at Nevermore. He had saved her, and she was grateful for that. Even if he had made things even by doing so, it set something in her on fire that had never gone out, that had burned brilliantly all the while she tried to force it away. It was inevitable, deemed to happen from the beginning, but she was blinded by her mindless arrogance and unspeakably cold heart. She was a black hole that had seen no light and had been so lonely, distant, and cold compared to her student counterparts. 

Yet somehow, as she played through the recollection of memories, she saw how step by step, slowly and steadily, he had gained her trust, her friendship, and eventually her heart. If she had known this would be the outcome then, she would have denied it ever being a viable option, and wouldn't have even heard you out if you tried to tell her this seemingly impossible series of events.

But the stars aligned just right, and suddenly she found herself tangled in the arms of the boy she had long forgotten to try and banish from her mind. It was naive of her, to assume that love was a despicable thing, and to vow to herself to never engage in the acts. She had it all wrong, as this process of learning wasn't something she could master in moments, it wasn't something she could learn from in a book, it wasn't something she could just push away.

The concept wasn't new to her mind, but it was foreign to her body, the way her skin seemed to long for his warmth, just a simple graze could cause her heart to skip a beat. How she had allowed herself to fall so helplessly...in love was an idea that threw her completely off, sweeping her off her feet, and leaving her questioning everything she had made herself believe.  Her thoughts silently flipped through the memories, as if she were looking through an entire album that consisted of them alone.

Some of the pages were stained, the ones she had lingered on during long nights, while others were untouched, such as the ones she hadn't wanted to recall. There were very seldom of those, but she figured it was all a part of the process. Because of those picturesque moments, where everything seemed to be fine for just a frame in her life, she knew there was always darkness lingering among them. No life went without wear and tear, and because of that, relationships were tested, either strengthening or breaking. And each time, they had risen above them, maybe out of stubbornness, maybe out of the will to survive, but more importantly love. 

The laugh that echoed through the walls of her heart made her shiver, and the smile that came along seemed to cause her cheeks to turn a rosy red. She remembered a quote she had read long ago, from her favorite writer. Tell me every terrible thing you did, and let me love you anyway. Edgar Allan Poe wrote with a horrifying beauty that simply encaptured her soul, but this quote, in particular, spoke out to her now. It was one of the many things she associated Xavier with, things that seemed to fit him so right.

Looking over at her clock, she saw it was nearly 4. They were supposed to head to this amusement park they had praised so highly, swearing that she would like it. She was doubtful, but maybe it would prove her wrong. Perhaps she would enjoy herself, freely, and without hesitation. Getting off her bed, she grabbed her black tennis shoes; apparently, it was a smarter move, considering they would be walking around for hours at a time. Throwing on her coat, she swiftly made her way to the balcony, Thing accompanying her on her shoulder as she looked out into the woods, past the gates of Nevermore.