In the End ~ Wednesday x Xavier ~ SLOW-BURN

Chapter 54

"And so it seems I must always write you letters that I can never send."

~~~

Xavier painted away, the gentle instrumental music humming around him as he held his paintbrush. His hands moved gracefully across the canvas, his thoughts wandering to the monotone girl that lived rent-free in his head.

The dance was coming up soon, and he knew that meant he would have to get her away from the crowd, which he figured wouldn't be too hard, and have the courage to give her the ring. It scared him, the idea that she might reject it, run away from him, or just outright stare at him like he was crazy. What would he do if that were to happen? He didn't see himself ever loving anyone the way he loved her, and he hoped and prayed that she wouldn't reject him, that she loved him the way he loved her. 

He hadn't even gotten his tux for the dance, and he hadn't planned a speech for when he was going to give her the ring. He gulped, trying to come up with something clever to say to her when the moment came. He wouldn't make it a sob speech; she would simply stare at him with an annoyed glare. 

You are the one that holds my heart.

Sounded too sappy.

You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

He did, but woah. A little too soon to be making big, scary statements like that. Even if that was the purpose of the ring, a promise, he wasn't going to outright say it.

I wanna be with you forever.

Okay, that sounds plain desperate.

You put the stars in my night sky.

He liked that.

You put the stars in my night sky, a beacon telling my heart there is hope in the darkness. You provide me a shelter, a refuge no one has ever made before you, letting me find peace with your presence. Your darkness holds me, whispering sweet promises of peace, rest, and comfort. I want to hold your hand as we watch the night sky, I want to kiss you under the moon and listen to a song only our souls can hear. I want to be your haven, your safe place, the person you think of when you look up into the everlasting darkness. I think of you every time I see something beautiful, a black dahlia, the sunrise, the cool wind, the smell of death and decay that haunts the earth with its serene, gentle caress. I want to hold you when you smile when you cry, or when you give me that blank glare that always causes my breath to hitch. The truth is, I wanna hold you forever...

It was a work in process, he had time.

He wiped his brow, looking down at the painting, and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened, and he paled as he took a few steps back, knocking into the table behind him as a few cups tipped over, spilling paintbrushes across the top of the table as he quickly slid off his apron.

He ran his hand through his hair, biting the inside of his cheek before quickly turning off the radio and lights, swiftly exiting the building as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He couldn't look back, trying to erase the haunting image from his mind as he shook his head.

What it was telling him he wasn't sure, but he knew it wasn't anything good.

~~

Wednesday walked into class, offering a small wave to Xavier, but he avoided her eyes, looking down at his journal as he gave her a small acknowledgment. 

She lifted her eyebrow, looking over at the boy as she sat down next to him.

"Xav, what's wrong?" She inquired quietly, gently nudging his arm.