His Weakness

XXVI

Noor POV

The whole night I stayed taking care of him, changing the small towel on his forehead every now and then.

Thankfully his fever was subsiding as the drip was also over long before and before I knew it it was already dawn and it was time for me to pray Fajr prayer.

I decided to return to my room, now that I am assured he has no fever.

His grip on my dupatta was loosened and I snatched the fabric from his hand.

"Get well soon."

I went to my room and freshened up as I took ablution and prayed the morning prayer.

I stayed in my prayer mat longer pouring out all my anxiety and problems to my Only God.

Even though I may be alone with no family or friends in this temporary world to support or protect me, but I for sure know that Allah will always be there for his creations.

I raised my hand closing my eyes imagining the presence of my AlMighty God as my lips quiver and my nose flare feeling the rush of hold up emotions within me that I kept to myself surface as I felt my eyes moist with wetness. My heart heavy with undecided worries.

Ya Allah, there is no one but You for me in this world. I know this is a test given to me by You and I for sure will have and be patient during all the trials and difficulties of it by trusting in You.

But Ya Rab, today I have decided one big decision that will affect my life gravely. A sealed fate. A sacred bond.

I am still unsure and scared if the decision made is right or wrong but there was no other way for me but to accept it. Please guide me through this huge decision of mine and show me the right path.

I layed in prostration as I sobbed my heart out infront of my Creator, desperate for His assurance and guidance by the situation I was in.

And as if He was trying to answer my pleas a short verse which permanently planted in my memories once when I was scrolling down Pinterest popped in my mind.

"قال لا تخافا إننى معكما أسمع و أرى"

" He said: Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see"

After what felt like hours, the invisible heaviness that was felt seemed as if it never was there and I could breathe my lungs easily.

Truly Allah knows what's best for us and so I decided to not overthink of the situation and just go with the flow.

I will tell him tomorrow.

I stood to take the Holy Quran and read few verses from it to calm my soul.

Like us human who needs food and drink, Our soul too needs to be taken care of and by reading few verses of the Quran or listening it can be done. That's what I heard.

But I read it because its one of the ways to make me calm when the stress or worry is too much.

Sometimes I believe things too easily which is really bad. Like this one time I believed an old lady saying she did not steal anything from the local super market and I defended her for it but ended being robbed for a 100$.

SubhanAllah. Can you believe that?

It was my last bit of money left from my salary to buy sanitary pads and medicine to ease my crams if it gets too intense.

I don't know whether to get angry that she lied to me or to get upset that I believed a stranger easily.

I closed the Quran and put it back in the wardrobe before folding my prayer mat.