Everything we know about you is wrong (Hiccup x OC reader)

chapter 0-01: The raid

(A/n: So i don't think anyone has ever done anything like what this is gonna be...it shall be...Revealed in due time...muahahahah!
Hiccup: speaking.)
"This, is Berk. It's twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death."
A voice introduces, a view of an island closing in.
"It's located solidly on the meridian of misery."
The voice continues. The view changing to a quaint little village.
"My village, in a word: sturdy. And it's been here for seven generations but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting and a charming view of the sunsets—"
The view closes in once more, to two sheep. "—The only problems are the pests." When one gets snatched off the ground by a pair of claws. The seconds sheep watches it leave before realising that it can eat more and takes a few steps forward. "You see most places have mice, or mosquitoes..we have—"
A boy looks outside the door to his house, seeing a pest just outside, meeting its eyes, it breaths fire towards the boy, whom closes the door just in time.
"—dragons"

The island being ambushed and set on fire, the dragons attacking, stealing sheep and whatever foods they could find.
"Most people would leave, not us. We're vikings, we have stubbornness issues.."
A viking jumps atop a dragon and starts hitting it with a hammer. Whereas the boy, runs out of the burning house he was previously inside, looking back for a moment before running again.
"My name's Hiccup..great name I know, but it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name with frighten off Nomes and Trolls..like our charming viking demeanour wouldn't do that." Hiccup continues, words honeycombed with sarcasm. Said boy gets tackled by a telling viking.
"AGHHHHHHH! MORNIN'" The man yells, and gets off the boy running off to attack. Hiccup continues running, upstairs and over docks, receiving many comments, such as; 'get back inside' and 'what are you doing?! get back inside' by passing vikings. Finally almost at his destination, he hats grabbed by a viking by the back of his tunic.

"Hiccup?! what is he- What're you doing out?! Get inside!" The man yells, shoving the boy towards where he wanted to go.
"that is Stoick the Vast, Chief of the tribe. They say when he was a baby he popped the head of a dragon clean off it's shoulders—" Stoick throws a cart at a dragon, breaking the cart and knocking down the dragon.
"—do I believe it? yes I do."
"What have we got?" Stoick asks another viking.
"Gronkles, Nadders, Zipplebacks, Oh and Hoark saw a monstrous nightmare." The viking lists off before ducking under his shield at the sound of an explosion, whereas the Chief doesn't even flinch when a piece of coal lands on his shoulder plate.
"Any night furies?"
"none so far. None of those demons either."
"Good." The chief says firmly, brushing the coal off of his shoulder.

As for Hiccup, he was still running as torches get hoisted from the ground and se alight.
"Oh. Nice of you to join the party! i thought you'd been carried off!" A viking says as he enters the blacksmiths.
"Who me? No i'm Wayyyyy to muscular for their taste!" Hiccup remarks, hoisting a hammer into its stand. "They wouldn't know what to do with all...this!" He continues, playfully flexing his arms.
"Well they need toothpicks, don't they?" The viking answers.
"The meathead with the attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber, i've been his apprentice since i was little—" Hiccup struggles to fan the fire with the stoker but manages with the little weight of his body.
"Well..little-er."
Meanwhile the chief was giving orders to the fighting vikings.
"We move to the lower defences. We'll counterattack with the catapults." He says, running over the docks. A dragon then decides to go ahead and set a house on fire.
"See? Old village, lots and lots of new houses."
"Fire!" A viking man shouts. A barrel of water is carried by the blacksmiths, catching Hiccups attention, he looks outside the window.
"Let's go!" A young viking girl says.
"Oh and that's Fishlegs, Snotlout, The twins: Ruffnut and Tuffnut, and....—"
Said young lady throws a full bucket of water at the house ablaze and walks away as if times slowed down.
"—Astrid..." Hiccup stares dreamily as she walks and the group round back up. "Oh their job is so much cooler."

As if times normal again, they all rushed past the blacksmiths and Hiccup tries to go over the windowsill outside.
"Eh!" Gobber exclaims, grabbing the boy by the back of the shirt.
"Oh come on! let me out, please. I need to make my mark!" Hiccup reasons.
"Oh you've made plenty of marks, all in the wrong places!" Gobber pokes Hiccup in the chest with his fake hand and the boy steps back.
"Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon or demon, my life will get infinitely better. I might even get a date!" Hiccup tries, gesturing like a madman.
"You can't lift a hammer. You can't swing an axe. You can't even throw one of these!" Gobber exclaims, holding up a bola when a viking snatched it a threw it a dragon, aiming for is legs.
"Okay fine, but this will throw it for me." Hiccup reasons, patting an invention he made. Unfortunately, it flung open throwing out a dumbbell. Moving fast enough out the way, gobber dodges it, said dumbbell hitting a viking in the face knocking him out.
"See? Now this right here, is what i'm talking about!" gobber shouts, anger rising.
"Mild calibration issue..." Hiccup stammers.
"Hiccup! if you ever want to get out there to fight dragons and demons, you need to stop all...this" Gobber gestures.
"But you just pointed to all of me!" hiccup returns.
"Yes, that's it! Stop being all of you!" gobber pokes at the boy.
"ohh..." hiccup challenges
"Oh yes!" gobber exclaims.
"You you sir, are playing a very dangerous game. Keeping this much...raw Vikingness contained? There will be consequences!" Hiccup exclaims pointing at the man, leaving him unphased.
"I'll take my chances. Sword. Sharpen. Now." Gobber says, shoving a sword into the boys arms.

"One day i'll get out there. Because killing a dragon? is everything around here. A Nadder head, is sure to get me at least noticed. Gronkles are tough. Taking down one of those would definitely get me a girlfriend. A Zippleback? Exotic, Two heads; twice the status."
"They found the sheep!" a viking yells to the chief.
"Concentrate fire over the lower bank!" The chief orders, moving the catapult.
"And then, there's the monstrous nightmare, only the best vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire." A monstrous nightmare sets itself aflame and busts through the dock leading to the catapults, snarling at the chief.
"Reload! I'll take care of this." He orders, preparing to attack the dragon and does so.
"But the ultimate prize is the dragon or demon no one has ever seen we call them the—"
"Demon! Night fury!" a viking yells
"Get down!" a second viking yells as everyone gets under their shields, a giant couple pairs of red eyes flies by, along with a black dragon whistling by, setting a watch tower on fire.
"jump!" the chief yells.
"these things never steal food, never show themselves and never miss. No one's every killed a night fury or a demon, that's why i'm gonna be the first."