my poetry - kelsey loch

feminine instincts ( experienced )

i was correct without experience,
without any personal insight
but based on view.
i followed my childhood dream of becoming a lifeguard,
the hair that effortlessly dragged me out to sea- was no longer there.
i had an immediate life jacket,
protecting me
from what was once all i knew.
i craved and gained my new beginning,
because thought wasn't enough.
i always told you how actions matter,
negative or positive.
i just never thought i would take matters into my own hands.
you told me to let my hair grow naturally- back into my regular colour,
twice the length.
but i don't know if i should follow your wishes-
because i recently learned that pettiness was a fine trait of yours.
why do i have to be the mature one?
as you know, i have been since the ripe age of eleven.
with complete knowledge of my trauma and insecurities,
you drowned me with them.
which is the reason why i never wanted to open up from the beginning,
also being something you know.
i felt my feet being dragged,
but it wasn't from under my bed.
it was into the abyss of the ocean,
away from what i knew.
you used my knowledge against me,
to make me question
if i knew anything at all.
and now i understand.
i understand why girls want to cut their hair after a breakup,
because right now
i wish to have no recollection of our memories.
you didn't believe i could do it myself, yet here i am.
i finally got my free haircut, without any issue of a scam.