my poetry - kelsey loch

your birthday party

i guess since i am jobless now i am using you for the money from the job you took for me.
you obviously took it for me so i can spend every little cent of it and claim it as mine, just as you intended.
you misspoke my mom, i then knew i had to leave this birthday party.
"if you're busy we can move it" , "whatever works best for you." was it genuine? i will never know because most times it isn't. 
i don't have 3 weeks to relax before going back to reality, i am living mine in the moment.
living in the moment isn't without a plan, it's knowing the plan and changing it when life takes its course.
you can always try to control things to the best of your ability yet you will never manage to take full control of life.
you enjoy chaos, which is probably why you're still around me yet, i really crave peace.
i naturally forget my medication on birthdays, hence the reason why i don't think ill be getting much older anytime soon.
when i found out your argument was negativity from your family i was livid and felt betrayed in a sense.
i wonder, did they ever actually like me?
i wonder did you ever actually like me or just the idea.
i'm sat within your box and i'm used to breaking those down.