Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄

How has so much happened

I haven't written here in ages! Part of my forgot it existed because I don't think I've had any...urges to write here...

My life has been going steady, I mean as steady as it can, I finished my first year of college today (which is insane to admit!)

Unfortunately my uncle passed a month ago and well last October my great grandmother passed too. Even my neighbour passed away. I feel like there's been a lot of loss in my life in the past year, the deaths themselves have made it hard to feel normal. I've never really experienced death first hand and I struggle to think about it because it makes me feel dreadful. On the other hand, I've lost a lot of friends, my best friend changed a lot in college and I decided I'm bigger and better than her behaviour. I'll always be her friend and have love for her but I don't want to surround myself with people who don't act like they care.

As I said, I haven't had any bad episodes, some ups and downs, but I've mostly been fine and happy. I get drained and antisocial sometimes, but it's rare and definitely outweighs how much I used to get full breakdowns. I have to say that Silas, my best friend, has contributed greatly to it. We've been friends since highschool but got closer in 4th year, then even closer in 6th year... It's nice to see how close we've gotten because I love our friendship and have realised since college that we naturally get along.

I'm incredibly proud of myself for being so dedicated to college and life in general, lots of things are to come (or so i hope) and I'll work hard everyday to make myself even more proud.

Life has been very insane, but I'm hoping it'll get easier with time....But I'll have to wait and see

Love. L