I know I always feel shitty about birthdays, especially my own. I feel alone and dumb because I'm spoiled and hate when the day can't be about me. I get depressed and upset, the worst at communicating.
It's the last few hours of being 19, I'm no longer a teenager, the day I dreaded most but I'm trying to convince myself to not feel that way - to celebrate instead and remind myself that getting older means another year to celebrate friendship.
My family cancelled dinner plans for tomorrow. My mother offered to cook my favourite meal, but I don't really have one. My friends offered me to join their plans, which hurt more to know they never even invited me in the first place.
Friday I'm having a birthday dinner but it's not the same. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll probably spend it alone. I hate when birthdays feel more sad than happy, making me so miserable that I don't want to do anything.
I don't want to wait by myself for three hours just to have food I'm not feeling up for. I want to see my friends but I'll see them on Friday so it's fine right? I can go to forbidden planet to get myself a birthday blindbox or poster. I'll come home and work on my kig, maybe even ask my friends to play my favourite game or something. I always get upset when I play board games with my family so I guess we aren't going to do anything but it's fine, I'll spend the day doing the things I enjoy and my friends will still make me feel extra special.
It's my birthday, I need to cheer up and smile, celebrate that I'm older and still alive, that I have great friends and a caring family and that everything will be alright.
YOU ARE READING
Being 16 (17*)(18**)(19***) is so much fun 🥱🙄
Non-FictionThis isn't a romance book...I use it as a diary to keep track of it so it doesn't get deleted from my notes app Just a 19 year old talking about things in my life because talking to people is very uncool and I can't fucking take keeping it in anymo...
