𝐃𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐕𝐮

𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 | 𝟏𝟗

How could a person hate someone they loved? Or thought they loved?

I start the day by dropping Sofia off before going to headquarters.

Ajax and Trent were already there ready for a mission.

The Russian's wanted revenge from last time. Spitful people do unimaginable things.

I walk in seeing a few men gear up while I grab only a glock. No one needs to die but I wouldn't mind letting off steam.

"Ready to beat some russian ass?" Ajax says pulling a mask over his face.

A mask isn't because we're hiding from them. They will know it's us who is attacking but sometimes when a person puts on a mask they lose their own identity and becomes a monster.
Sometimes the mask can be invisible, sometimes it is hard to take off.

My system was already intoxicated by the white powder from earlier. It was the 3rd of December. The day she gave her life up for me. After that day I blame myself for her sacrifice but I hate her for seeing good in me. She was too selfish to think about how I would feel after. And I hate her for that.

From seeing my red eyes, Ajax comes closer and says, "Go home, you in this state won't be good for any of us." What does he know about how I'm feeling right now. "I need this. If you stop me I'll fuck you up instead of the russians."

Like I thought he didn't get in my way. By the time we arrive, some undercovers notice us and we break into action.

I pull my mask down and everything turns dark. In my front visual, I saw a man and my intrusive thought was to beat him up.
And thats what I did. I punch him non-stop. Punch. My mind was else where. Punch. I couldnt control my hands. Punch. It's like I'm not even here.

It felt like my school days where I'd be in a ring fighting a random asshole who thought he could beat me. I was physically on a mission but in my head, I was 16 again where life wasn't serious and teens where able to be teens.

The few people around us see his blood streaming on the ground but I didn't stop. I was ontop of him just colliding my fist to his face repeatedly. He shouts for help until his voice fades. It goes silent but I still don't stop.

The other russians run away and the army seperstes to find them. We need information we wasn't meant to harm any of them yet.

A hand pulls my arm. "Enough man." Trents stupid voice says. They both stand infront of me while I take the life of a young Russian soldier.

"X he's dead, leave him." I look at the boy under me. His limbs weren't moving, face was bleeding my knuckles were covered in dark red liquid.

She died because of me. He's dead because of me and it felt good.
I get off of him and walk towards my car. I take my mask off breathing in the cold air. My eyes were burning from the tears I kept in. My knuckles were hurting from smashing them into his face.

Fighting was always the main solution. Death was an easy way out of torture, my targets should be appreciative that I only killed them.

I watch the sun set and think of her. Oh ma what have I become? I want to go back to the time when it was all simple. I would come back to school and run into your arms. Father wouldn't find me killing bodies but just fighting my way through life. I want to go back to when love was pure love and to a world where love was not at war.

The army all come back within half an hour and we leave back to Madrid.
The car ride was quiet, all I needed is my pills to numb it all. Dry blood coats my hands and t shirt.