𝐃𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐕𝐮

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐚 | 𝟐𝟓

WARNING : 18+ content

Ajax drops us home before they go to the hotel. I walk through the doors first and feel the emptiness of the house.

Xavier walks up the stairs and I follow him to his room. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he stands infront of me just staring at my face.

The light shone bright revealing every scab and mark on my face. I drop my head allowing my hair to cover it but he lifts my chin and tucks the strands away.

His gaze hardens while his eyes wonder from every bruise to the next. "Please don't look at me." I whisper turning away from him.

"Whats wrong with me looking?" Can he not see the monster i am. "I look hidious." I explain keeping it brief. What if he hates how i look or laughs at me. "You always look beautiful to me amor." His voice is reassuring and calm.

He clears his throat and takes a seat next to me. "Firstly I'm sorry this happened to you, I thought I was protecting you but the other night I had a lot on my mind and I guess you drifted for a second." Soo this is going to be one of them serious talks.

"What happened?" I ask him. Guilt glistens in his eyes. "That was the second thing. What I say next might upset you but I'm only telling you so you understand." My heart begins to race. What does he want me to understand?

"Xavier you're scaring me." I say looking straight in his empty eyes. He rubs his thumb on my cheek as fear let its way in. "Don't be. I'm sorry for everything Octavia." Please dont back out now.

"You asked me the other night if I was in love with someone else. The answer is yes. I was in love." I wanted to know the truth so it shouldnt hurt. Why does the thought of him loving someone else hurt so bad.

"Five years ago I met her on the edge of a hospital building. I was at my weakest that night and wanted to end it all because I had just lost my mum. Blair was a psychologist in the hospital who helped me. From that night on wards I felt as if I owed her everything for saving me. She wanted what's right for me and I fell in love with her for that." My heart suddenly feels heavy like i couldnt bare it anymore. I remain silent spacing into thin air while his body sat next to me frozen.

"No one but Ajax knew about her at the time. I couldnt even tell the boys because she didn't exactly fit in with my type of people. But one day I took her home with me and she met father. He wasnt so happy infact I've never seen much emotions in him than i have that day. He was furious that I wanted to marry her, an outcast. He told me I knew nothing of love." Xavier chuckles to himself. He had done all these things that made my heart flutters, all while he was still in love with her. This whole time I was just the other girl.

"I was so conviced she was the one I wanted forever. I imagine creating a family with her, running the mafia with her, loving her. But time wasnt in our favour. While I was arguing with my piece of shit of a father, the chandelier happened to be very loose and almost fell on me. A 200 pound chandelier was supposed to fall onto me. But Blair pushed me and replaced my spot." His voice croaks. This must be hard for him to say. I want to hold his hands and hug him tightly but I might breakdown before he finishes.

"I stood there watching her bleed onto the marble floor. I was too scared to even move I just froze from shock." A tear falls down my cheek, eyes burning from not blinking.

"She was taken to the hospital while I was still comprehending what had happened. By the time I got there they told me she had passed. That was the last time I ever stepped in a hospital. The girl I loved, died for me when she had her whole life planned out. Mothers death took a part of me but Blair numbed my whole inside. I never wanted to love anymore because I would always lose. Its like God is trying to tell me I was born to be alone. First ma then Blair. I dont want you being next Octavia." The sound of my name rings in my head making everything else disappear. My glossy eyes match his bloodshot ones.