Off the Carousel

Is There a Point?

Enjoy!

Meredith sat in the Bistro in a sort of daze, staring at the stuffed bear she'd purchased impulsively at the pharmacy. Dr. Radford confirmed it half an hour ago. She was pregnant. Five weeks.

Meredith felt Like she was in another world. She'd been in this town for almost two days, but felt so lost. She didn't know what to do. Should she keep driving? Stay here? Go home? She stirred her soup. She was pregnant. How was she going to do it? Raise three kids? She had enough trouble raising two, with Derek. And now...

I want more of this... of us.

Another baby? Seriously?

Boys... and their penises.

"Mom? Can we get candy after?"

"Hmm?"

"Can me and Bailey get candy?"

Meredith shook her head. The last thing she needed was her kids hopped up on sugar. "No, sweetie. But maybe we can go to a park. How about that?"

"Will you push me on the swing?"

"Sure. Sure Zo," Meredith said, zoning out again.

"Hello."

Pulled from her trance, Meredith looked up to see Dr. Radford at her table, holding a tray. "Hi," she replied.

"Um, there's no more tables and you looked- I just thought- Uh... would you like some company?"

Meredith opened her mouth to refuse him, wanting space, but he seemed so genuine, and had been so patient and helpful this morning at her appointment. "Um, sure." she said. Besides, having someone else to talk to might make the emptiness go away a little.

Dr. Radford set down his tray and sat beside her. "This is a great place," he said. "I'm here every day."

"It's homey," Meredith agreed. "The hostess reminds me of a couple people I know." She slurped up some soup, and then considered something. "Dr. Radford? If I wanted to... If I needed a scan, where would be the best place around here?"

"A scan? Like an ultrasound?" he asked.

"More like a head CT."

"A head CT? Why do you think you should get a head CT?"

"Doctor patient confidentiality?"

"Of course."

"I..." she shook her head. "I passed out, or something, yesterday." She told him how it happened, omitting the Derek dream. One minute, she was staring into the sun, the next, Bailey was wiggling all over her, waking her up. "It wasn't like I fell asleep. I was awake, and then-"

Screech- smack- crunch!

Mommy, wake up.

"I don't know how to explain it. I swear I'm not crazy. I'm a doctor too. I know what to look for."

Dr. Radford hummed thoughtfully. "Mind if I ask a few questions? Doctor-patient?"

Meredith nodded, resigned. She would do the same, if their roles were reversed. It was just good practice. She listened and responded to his questions, answering most in the negative.

"So you don't think there's anything wrong?"

"I don't think there's really any reason to submit to a scan right now," Dr. Radford said. "Although it's strange, it's not indicative of anything physically wrong in your brain."

"I know it's strange," she said. "I mean, my husband's a neurosurgeon. I've seen it all."

"Wow, and you're a doctor too." He smiled.