If I Lose Myself

Catalina

I felt someone shake my shoulder lightly waking me up, when opening my eyes I found an old lady giving me a kind smile. Looking around I saw that everyone was already off the Gray Hound. "We are here dear, you don't want to get left alone."

"Thank you, ma'am," she nodded then walked off the bus.

Standing up stretching as I went, my bones crack even though the bus seats were comfortable. This was the first time in a long time that I have gotten any kind of sleep. Walking off the bus, I looked around to realize that I had no idea where to go. My eyes landed on some cabs. Guess it wouldn't hurt to just walk up to one. A guy got out grabbing my bags as I neared his cab. "Go ahead and have a seat while I'll out your bags in the trunk."

I gave a tight smile and got in the car, I knew that not every man was going to be like Tim. But I was scared to even talk to any guy now and that is why I sat next to two old ladies on the bus. I pulled my phone out and looking at the time, it was just a little past ten. I was hoping my dad didn't work weekends. The door slamming shut made me jump and looked to the cab driver. He was a young guy but not too young maybe twenty-five or older?

"Where to ma'am?"

"Umm...6148 East Wicker Lane." He started to put it in the GPS. Aren't they suppose to know the city well?

Cars and buildings started to whiz by as we started on our way. The town my dad lived in was not too bad it was actually nice. The only thing that bugged me a bit was I saw a lot of bikers. I wanted to get away from scary men not walk right into the path of a thousand bikers and more! Tim still haunted my dreams I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while. What if he comes after me or worse he kills my mom? It didn't hit me until now, what if she reads the letter and tells Tim, he would kill her. My heart dropped to my stomach when I realized what I just did.

I just signed my mom's death certificate.

My eyes started to burn making me look down at my hands. If he kills my mom I will follow her because I just couldn't live with myself knowing I was the reason she died.

"Ma'am?"

"Huh?"

"I said we are here." Looking outside, I saw he was right. Nodding I looked at the meter. Forty dollars, that's not bad. I pulled out a fifty handing it to him.

"Keep the change," I got out grabbing my bag when he popped the trunk.

Looking around my dad's yard, I saw he had a Hardly out front. Was he a biker? I hope not. I started to the door when I got there I raised my hand about to knock but then dropped my hand. Maybe I should go home back to my mom. She could die because of me, looking over my shoulder only to see the cab driving off. Guess it's too late now, shaking my hand a bit. I raised my hand again and knocked on the door three times then stepped back.

My heart was beating fast in my chest as I wondered how this would go. A few seconds passed by and I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't home. Just as I was about to turn away the door opened. A scary looking guy stood in front of me. I was beginning to think that maybe I had the wrong home but then I realized it. This man was my father because he had my eyes and hair color.

He was looking at me in shock, at first, I was wondering why. Reasons past through my head. I haven't seen him in so long because mom forbade it. "Umm...I'm looking for Adam Blake." My voice was barely above a whisper.

Something crossed his eyes making me step back a little because that was the same look Tim got when he was about to hit me. "What fuck happened to your face? Did you mother come with you."