If I Lose Myself

Catalina

Four months later....

Sitting in my room the paint brush glided easily over my big canvas. It's taking me about a good three months to finally finish it. It was the portrait I have been doing of Monster. I found it funny how he always got back in the same spot every night, it's like he knew. Looking around the canvas I studied him a bit more and the background then back to the portrait itself. I added more colors to the walls and my bed but made sure that Monster was the focused of it all.

My neck was starting to go stiff so I knew it was time for a break. Putting everything down I stood up to stretched my tired limbs. Walking out the room I found it was passed eight reminding me that I still haven't eaten anything. Looking around the kitchen my mind wondered back to Titus and the talk we had. Ever since that day, he has been acting a little weird towards me. It's not the kind where he avoids me, it's where he watches over me like a hawk. It's bad enough that my dad is doing the same thing to me. I'm not a ticking time bomb. At least, I think I'm not.

I finally wasn't in trouble for skipping town anymore and I'm on home studies. I tried going to school and everything was great until the football team crowded me. I started to panic but I got lucky because Bo was close by and pulled me away. Thinking about Bo always gives me butterflies and this blush starts to creep onto my cheeks. We have gotten close over the past couple months, the cabin was a big stepping stone for us. Ever since that day I felt a little better around him because he knew. There was no lying to him now and that was a big weight lifted off my chest.

Grabbing my plate I went into the living room and flipped the T.V on. I stopped once I found Law and Order: SVU, I loved that show. I guess I can relate to some of the people on this show. As I munched on some fruit my dad walked in, looking over at him from the sofa I raised my eyebrow.

"Pack an overnight bag baby, I'm going on a run with the boys, so you're going to stay with Bo until we get back." I groaned inward. Really?

"But the show was just getting good." I couldn't help but whine.

My dad walked into the room looking at the T.V, he crossed his arms just watching it. "None of this is true, you can't beat people in an interview room. Now go get your things and head over there."

Mumbled to myself I got my things ready for the night. I packed my Pj and what I was going to wear tomorrow. Once that was all set I walked out to find my dad waiting by the door. "Go straight to Bo's no detouring." He kissed my forehead while I gave him a hug "Love you, honey."

"Love you too, dad."

I got in the car and slowly backed out I guess I can continue the show over there. I felt comfortable going over since my dad is there often. Even though I was not ready to meet the full club, I was willing to be around Titus, Corvette, and Jac. I can't forget Alexzander. But I was warming up to the fact of meeting more people in the club. I told myself baby steps. I stopped at a red light tapping my fingers on the wheel singing the song that came on. When I finally got to Bo's I walked inside jumping on the sofa draping my leg over the top and grabbing the remote.

I flipped through the channel's and finding Law and Order, I was glad I made it before a new episode started. As I was watching the show Alexzander hit me with a pillow. I looked at him annoyed, couldn't I just watch the show in peace? "Don't look at me like that young lady. Who said you can just take over the T.V?"

I smiled putting the pillow under my head. "My dad, he told me to come here and watch it."

"What! I didn't approve of this." Next thing I knew he was attacking my side.