If I Lose Myself

Catalina

On the drive back home Bo tried to make small talk but I would only reply with small words. I was feeling lower than dirt, I read my dad's texts messages and started crying. He was really worried about me and the voicemail's he left killed me. I was scared to go home because I knew deep down I was in for it. About half way through the drive Bo's phone started to ring.

"Hey, dad." He nodded. "Yeah, she's right here." His eyes met mine and gave me an I'm sorry. Look then handed his phone over. "dad wants to talk to you."

I took the phone and took a deep breath in. "Hello." I thought it was best to keep my voice low.

"I am very disappointed in you Catalina," He started giving a sigh. "You had the club out looking for you. What in God's name were you thinking skipping town like that?"

He sounded mad at the same time very fatherly, I knew he wanted answers but the one I have would not fly. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh yeah, Try me, Catalina. I'm not the club president for nothing, I've seen shit before so I don't think for a minute I don't understand." I stayed quite, this time, everything outside the window started to blur. Was this going to be the, I don't want you to see my son anymore talk?

Silent tears slowly ran down my face as my chest started to get tight. He was already a big help in my life and if he was to walk away now then that would be it. I would be done for good. When I didn't say anything he continued. "We are going to talk more when you get home, and you're going to tell the boys you're sorry for making them look for you. Even though they do not know you, they care about you. You've became family the moment you moved in with you dad."

Hearing those words made me break down I couldn't hold the sobs back anymore. I heard him curse under his breath, he clearly he didn't mean to make me cry. "Don't cry sweetheart, we will talk when we get home. Give the phone back to Bo."

I handed him back the phone turning my back to him. I started to cry to myself and at this moment I wish I had a blanket. After a while I felt the car come to a stop I opened my eyes to see Bo was outside restaurant. "My dad told me to come here because he was going to be here and your dad. They are meeting with the local club here."

"I don't know Bo." I shook my head."I look like crap."

Bo reached over running his thumbs under my eyes then on his pants and continue this for a few minutes then smiled. "There, I would fix your hair but I don't know how to do that." He rubbed behind his neck I gave a heartless laugh.

I pulled the sun visor down in the car and looked at myself. I didn't look too bad but my hair was not the business right. I pulled it together and put it in a messy bun, looking back to Bo I nodded my head. "Okay."

"Don't worry so much okay. Your dad would be more relieved to see you alive rather than hurt."

"He's going to see my arm...I fucked it up." I looked down at my arm Bo's hand came into view he grabbed my chin lightly making me looked at him.

He leaned forward pressing his lips to mine making me respond right when they met. It wasn't a full make out it was a kiss to make me fill better and to be honest...it helped. He pulled away and he smiled a bit. "Your blushing." My cheeks heat up even more. He leaned in again and kissed me one more time. "It's cute."

"Whatever," I mumbled getting out the car, he started laughing and waited for me to join him.

He interlaced our finger and pulled me across the street, the closer we got to the door. The more I started to freak out. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to give out at any moment. My gripped tighten on Bo when he opened the door, I kept my eyes down when we first walked in. Counting to three I looked around the restaurant my eyes connected with my dad's right away. It was like everything was in slow motion he stood from the chair and made his way to me.