If I Lose Myself

Catalina

I hate waking up from surgery, even though I was pumped up on morphine. I was able to feel the stiffness. You can only wonder what it would feel like when the pain meds wear off. I hope I never find out. My dad was off talking to the doctor about my recovery period. It wasn't like I didn't know what to do, I already went through this at the age of thirteen now wasn't going to be any different. A knock on my door brought me out my thoughts. A Smile formed when Bo walked in only for me to gasp.

"What the fuck happened to your face?" Bruising was forming around his jaw line. And the bridge of his nose. "You didn't look like that when you left earlier."

He rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. "Yeah, umm...you see I kind of fought Detrick."

"Who is Detrick?" I had no idea who he was. But I wasn't sure if I was going to like him because he hit Bo. "Well, he doesn't seem very nice." I frowned.

"Cat!" My eyes snapped to the door just as Cam came running in. "I've missed you." He placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek making me giggle. "How are you holding up champ?"

Giggling once more I smiled at his cheesiness. "It went good from what they told me. So now I just got to relax and make sure I don't rip the stitching."

He smiled while nodding and looked to Bo as he walked closer. He lightly grabbed my chin turning my face so he can kiss me. His lips lingered for a few minutes then he pulled away smiling. I lightly grabbed his face checking him out a little. Shaking my head whatever happened I don't want to know. I heard some bickering in the hall and then two guys came walking in. I looked to Bo who gave me a reassuring smile.

It was then the two boys realized that we were all looking at them. "Oh man, she really does look like Blaze!" One of them blurted out.

"And you really look like you been hit by a semi-truck," I replied coolly. It was quite for a few minutes before the all started to laugh but the one who I was talking to.

"M-more like Bo's fists," Cam said between his laughter.

I gasped pointing a finger at him. "You're the one who touched my baby!" I half yelled while glaring. His face paled and looked a little nerves. "You are lucky I'm in this bed, young man!"

"I-I'm sorry, I-It's just-" I started laughing at his panicked face. I guess he was so worried about my dad that he didn't even realized I was playing.

"You should have seen your face!" I said once I calmed down. "I'm Catalina, By the way."

"I like her already!" A guy with blonde hair step forward and gave me a fist bump. "I'm Cassie. And that loser over there is Detrick." I giggled at Detrick's face. You can see he was trying to piece together what happened.

After things calmed down we all started to talk and I got to know them better. They go to the school that I will be attending next week they were very nice. I also found out that they were the boys who ran up on me the first time I went to school. Even though it wasn't necessary they told me sorry. Part of me was telling me that going to school was going to be a blast when I go back. Because these boys were too funny.

***

I have been home for three days now and I was just painting away. Today I was in the back yard painting a willow tree. I always loved how they looked with the droopy branches and how they look like they hold secrets. Why my dad had this tree here was beyond me, but I wasn't complaining. I loved it. As I lost myself in each stroke of the brush it felt safe, it felt like home.

"That's beautiful." My head snapped up to meet Sammy's smile. "I always loved the way you paint." She sighed and took a seat next to me.

"I can still teach you if you like?" I asked. A while back I had offered her lessons, but sadly she had to move. "I have other canvases in my room."