If I Lose Myself

Catalina

I felt light kiss being pressed along the length of neck, at first, I tried to push it away but it kept going. Turning around I locked eyes with Bo, he gave me a small smile and pressed his lips to mine. Turning around fully I laid down on his chest seeking his comfort and warmth. Looking at the time I saw that Cam and Sammy were going to be coming soon. Looking down I saw that I now have Bo's shirt on.

"We should change," I whispered.

"Yeah we probably should, Cam would have a field day with this." I looked up at but he just smiled down at me. Cam better not find out about this or I will have to beat his ass.

Finally getting out of bed I stepped into the shower loving the feeling of the warm water hitting my back. In the back of my mind, I knew I shouldn't take long showers because dizzy spells hit me out of nowhere from time to time. I still wasn't okay with looking in the mirror because of the weight loss I suffered when I wanted to die. I still having told anyone that I still want to just die and not live any longer. I just agreed because they were all pressing me to not give up on life. But then again I couldn't do that to Bo, he has been by my side no matter what. Even when I first got here he kept trying to be my friends and the rest was history.

Walking back into my room I smiled seeing Sammy and Cam. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, how are you feeling today?" Sammy asked pulling me into a hug.

"I'm doing good today, still tired but I'm okay." I looked at Cam as he walked up to give me a hug.

"Hey, short stuff." He wrapped me in a bear hug making me giggle at him.

"Hi, Cam." I smiled.

Bo walked up behind me and pulled me into his chest. "What do you guys want to watch first?" Bo asked leaning his head down on my shoulder.

Cam and Sammy exchanged looks like they were trying to piece something together. Sammy looked at me with her eyes narrowed, her eyebrow raised. "Come with me so we can make some snack and you can guys can pick the movies."

Taking my hand she lead me to the kitchen where she looked down the hall for a few second then turned back to me, she had this knowing smirk on her face making me cheeks heat up. Crossing her arms over her chest she clicked her tongue. "You had sex didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I stated turning to the fridge grabbing some sodas. The fridge door was slammed shut and Sammy stood in front of it.

"You little weasel!" She whispered yelled. "You guy did didn't you?"

I felt my cheeks heat up once again "I don't know what happened, one minute we were in here talking then the next thing I know we were in my room." Casted my eyes down feeling embarrassed. "As we laid there watching T.V all I could think about was kissing him...I wanted to kiss him so bad." I put my head in my hands realizing how this sounded.

Sammy started to laugh lightly as she wrapped her arms around my waist laying her chin on my shoulder. "You shouldn't feel embarrassed, he waited for you this long and I'm sure he would have waited even longer if you weren't ready." She let me go still smiling. "I'm happy for you, you made a big step in this life and trust me he is a keeper no matter what anyone says about this."

She was right most guys would have already left at the first sign of not getting any, and if not then defiantly would have after finding out I have cancer. But I was happy with the outcome of this no matter what has happened. And even though I am still in a dark place in my mind, I knew I was going to pull through. I was debating whether to get surgery again and I knew what that meant. It meant no kids of my own.