Spades and Angels

Choices

Maddox

Shit. shit, shit shit.

I've screwed up now. Big time if what Lo said when we parted in chem is true. I only wanted to help her but it seems Michael and Hali's words have come back to haunt me earlier than I thought. But I could also hear something else in her tone. In her voice at the end when it had softened she seemed upset. Angry as if at herself. Though why I can't be sure since she never spoke again after I promised to give her space. Something I tried to stick to even when it hurt to see her so lost. So alone.

Riv and I keep trying to crack the encryption around the Spades files but it's a hard job since I was still trying to train her about that part of the Angels and the others had no idea what we were up to. Well, most of them didn't and the ones who did? They were pleading plausible deniability until we had no other choice. Until I - we - needed them. Meaning Riv was still the only one who knew about this. Something that caused me to find her one evening, Hali letting me in with a wary glance.

"Be careful, I think some of the others are onto whatever you and Riv are running." She whispers when she lets me in, eyes darting around. "Don't worry those of us who know are still hiding it but I don't know how Ash will respond. His parents too since they are officially running this."

"I know, I know. Just....shit look I'm sorry for involving you. Mike and Ari too. Riv and I should have kept it to ourselves until asking for help Hails. I'm sorry we pulled you in." I offer her as contrite an expression as possible and she just smiles and hugs me once. Whispering something to me.

"It's ok Mads. I would have figured it out from Riv sooner or later since that girl might be able to lie to most people but I grew up with her. Hell, I raised her with Indra since our mother was and still is a shit parent and our dad was out working - obviously before everything happened." My friend pauses with a sigh, "She can't lie to me even if she thinks she can. I can read her too well. That and you have what I know our people would call honest eyes." Her repetition of what Lo said once to me makes me crack a smile, "Seems like you've heard that one before."

Yeah, yeah I had. "Mhmm, someone said that to me once. That if I wanted to lie I couldn't look at them." Hali laughs and nods. "Thank you though, for not saying anything. I'll tell him eventually I just want to help her. That's all."

"I don't think that's true," Hali whispers, pulling away a little to look me in the eye. I frown. "I think that used to be all but I also think you aren't being honest with yourself. That she was the person you disappeared with at Homecoming. That you like her and that's ok I still won't tell but just be careful playing with fire that deadly can only go one of two ways. Combustion or something else. Something bright and beautiful. I just hope it's the beautiful flame you get not burned when it implodes." Hali offers me a kind smile and then nods. I nod, not sure what she's meaning. "Go find her. I know she's who you came to see."

"Thanks, Hali, I'll remember that. You guys who know be safe, ok?" Hali nods and vanishes around a corner as I walk through to find Riv. Knocking on the door I can hear her music, "Riv? You got a second?" I knock again and wait for a few seconds until the music dies down a little and footsteps come from the other side. "Riv? Are you there?"

"Coming, be patient," She calls through the door seconds before it unlocks and she smiles at me. "Come on in. You ok?" She seems less happy than the last time we spoke, eyes shadowed with something I can't read. Music is soft and sorrowful when I come into the room. "Mads? What happened?"

"Are you ok Riv?" I ask, forgetting my questions for a second when my friend looks so sad. I offer her a hand that she takes willingly, then a hug, feeling her cling to me like she's afraid of something. "Are you ok?"