Spades and Angels

Hiding...?

Lolita

"Lo?" he calls for me again but I'm not in the mood to talk. To him or anyone else. Yet the fact remains that Mads has seen me and seems intent on a conversation. "LO PLEASE! JUST WAIT!"

"Why, so you can come to laugh at me, or better yet piss me off enough to have a snap-back conversation?" I mumble angrily, grumbling to myself as I keep moving, thankfully knowing a back exit as I text my brother.

Lolita: thinking of picking up a shift at A, not sure what or when I'll be done, Let me know when dad's out.

He waits a few seconds before coming back to me, words rushed as if he's being watched, something that wouldn't be out of the ordinary.

Lucas: Ok sure, Have you let Shell know you're looking or even Chase? One of them might know if something's free xx

Laughing I roll my eyes and see that he has a point. Switching over I duck behind a tall shelf as far away from Mads as possible to text Shell in the hopes that she has something, anything, for me.

Lolita: Heya Shell, got any shift's going spare tonight? Need to get out of the house and want to pick up a little extra cash. Can do waitressing, bartending or my normal. Don't worry if there's nothing I'll see if I can find someplace to hide out until the warpath is cleared otherwise.

Sending it I slump down so my back's to the shelf and hope to god that Mads doesn't find me since I needed the silence to be free from all the voices. The dark thoughts and the anxiety makes my chest hurt so goddamn hard all the time. Just needed a second of freedom from-

"LO? YOU THERE!" Mads shouts for me again and I'm about to respond when I see a message back from Shell, the phone vibrating against my leg where I'd left it. "LO!" He shouts one last time, but I don't respond, reading over what Shell said.

Shell: Of course, you can come down hon, you know we always need the extra help around here. Not sure where I'll end up putting you. Think the dancing is all full - you know when you're next on for that - but the bar and waitstaff could use an extra hand being a Friday night. Come on down when you're ready and just come find me when you get there, I'll let you know where I need you then ok sugar? :)

For some reason the little smiley face makes me laugh into my hand, ducking down when I hear someone come walking around, only peaking around when I know he's gone through the door. Resolving to use the back one to leave since I can walk to Aqua from here without making a trip home. Reading over one last time the message from Shell I replied.

Lolita: Thanks Shell I owe you one, big time. I'll be sure to find you when I get down there.

Shell: Ok hon, see you soon

Switching to where I'd been texting Luc I let him know that I'd found a shift for work and he lets me know he'll keep me updated for when dad's out cold. Not want to deal with him on top of whoever happens to come into the bar tonight. Checking once more that Mads was gone I slipped out and set off to where I could hide from my immediate problems, just for a little while...

The night was busy and I was right to try and find another shift. Aqua was packed to the roof when I arrived and Shell looked flustered, to say the least. Somehow we'd ended up understaffed on one of our busiest nights a week and she was relieved when I showed up to help with the bar for a few hours. Between that and trying to help the poor waitstaff who were being harassed for the poor service I was at the end of my tether with the general population. Well more so than normal anyhow.

And yet...and yet I still couldn't banish it. The fear in my bones and my blood from knowing my father was home. Home and drinking through a liquor shop's worth of the hard stuff. Hopefully not break anything or hurt my mom. Ky and Luc's safety comes from the fact that they're boys and therefore, to my father, of some use. Both to the bratva and the family for what Luc can and Ky will do in the future. Assuming we can't get him out of all of this batshit crazy stuff before he's old enough to understand. The thought is less than pleasing but it's there. In the back of my head. Waiting.