Spades and Angels

Blood, Anger and Pain

Maddox

The next morning dawns slow, late and with a twist I hadn't expected. 

I remembered enough about last night. I remembered talking to Lo and somehow getting her to dance with me. Getting her home and finally being able to sleep knowing she's not suffering. Not knowing she'd been in so much pain when we'd been separated but hating myself when I'd known I was the cause. Luce's words were still valid from when she'd yelled at me but still hurt.

When I wake up it's by no means early but I still do so before Lo. Seeing her still curled up around me, sound asleep with her head on my chest. Her arms around me and a soft smile on her lips, even in her sleep. An expression that serves to make her appear younger. Softer and innocent. As if the world hadn't unfairly dumped its darkness on her years too early. Cursing her to feel and see too much pain for someone so young.

Some people are just born into tragedy. The words run through my head as I watch Lo but I don't say anything. I wanted - want -  to let her rest since I'd been worried when I'd seen her yesterday. Noticing instantly how pale, tired and won out she'd looked. Scarily prominent shadows under her eyes.

Still, I say nothing, just keep my arms around her, keeping her close where I can know I've kept my promise to use. The one I made to keep her safe. Shifting a little I free one hand to run through her raven hair. I feel it run through my fingers. Seeing her soft smile and hearing the occasional low, breathy whisper crossed with a moan the longer I do so.

Nothing changes for a few beats of silence before Lo turns over more, wrapping her arms around me like she's trying to keep us together as one. Her legs tangled in mine but half wrapped around my waist. Snuggling closer so she's half lying on me. A contented sigh slipped from between her lips when she stopped moving.

"Morning," She yawned the word, shuffling closer where she'd started to slip, one eye cracked open and watching me. "Hey, are you ok? You were mumbling a little last night. In...in your sleep that is," Lo sits up a little, watching me with a concerned expression. Her beautiful grey eyes shone. "Mi amor? Are...are you ok?"

I nod, some part of me not trusting my ability to speak in case I do and this image shatters as an illusion. Part of me is still not sure what I'm seeing is real, even when I can feel her, hold her. Next to me, Lo offers me a confused yet adorable frown.

I sigh, taking one of her hands and using my other arm to hold her around her upper back and shoulders. Lo resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm ok mi querida tesoro preciosa de mi corazón," I mumble, softly kissing the top of Lo's head."Just still trying to convince myself this isn't going to disappear when I blink or look away," I mumble, looking down as if I can avoid seeing her reaction to my words. "Just trying to convince myself that you're real."

She laughs then, shuffling a little before she uses her hands to tip my head up so she can press her lips against mine. The action caused the two of us to seem to crash into one another like that first time in the classroom or behind the bonfire all over again. Re-reminding me of how good it felt being with her. At home. That's what this feels like with her. Being at home.

Eventually pulling apart she settles back next to me she leans her head back on my shoulder, a sneaky smile on her face. "That enough of a convincing gesture mi amor?" She all but whispers the words in my ear and I sigh, holding her closer. "I'll take that as a yes?" She tips her head to the side and I shrug. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Memories," I mumble miserably, all the time I spent with Mari flashing through my head. "A past I can't escape no matter how hard I try." Lo sighs then, shuffling closer to offer me a shoulder to lean on. "I...I'd like to talk about her now. If-if that's ok with you?" I give Lo a look and wait.