Spades and Angels

How Do You Know?

Maddox

Almost a Week Later

Lo's parting words after Riv opened up about her past are hard to swallow. The rescinding of our friendship was even harder to deal with since I'd had no idea how much I missed knowing I had even that if nothing else. Worried that between what happened and then Luce's yell at me I've finally done something irreparable. Lost Lo for good.

But I stick to it. For almost a week I managed to stick to what she asked. It hurts, especially given how easy it used to be but I do. I keep it hidden and just do what I'd promised her I would all those months ago when we met. When she trusted me enough to open up about her stalker. I keep her safe but at a respectful distance.

"So," Mal drops to sit next to me for lunch. I don't say anything, seeing her give me my lack of food with a worried expression. "Again with the not eating? It's not good for you hermano, I worry about you." she looks in Lo's direction, the other girl's head bent over a pad of paper, feverishly scribbling something for our end-of-semester essay in English. "You two talked yet?"

"Nope," I sigh, angrily, yet tired too. "So kindly drop it before I do something we'll both regret." I sigh, seeing her laugh once before the concerned look I was slowly getting used to seeing directed my way returns. "She asked for one more week. I said I'd give her that. It's almost up I owe her that much Mal. It's a miracle she's even agreeing to hear me out at all. Given what happened and how."

Now my friend sighs, looking more troubled than before. "I know that Mads it's just...I worry about you. Ever since this rough patch with Lo neither of you is doing ok. Screwed up sleeping patterns. Not eating. Withdrawn. Morose. All textbook signs of depression. The pair of you. You're happier together than apart so why not just fix it? Make each other happy again?"

"You do know you're describing textbook toxic dependency right?" I chuckle humorlessly and see her sigh, bumping her shoulder with me at my shitty show of poor comedic timing, though her eyes remain on Lo. "Maybe the classics are right about some things."

"And maybe we're in control of our destinies," She fires back after barely a second's hesitation. "We just have to want it badly enough to fight for it. To take the leap and see if you have it in you to fly or if maybe now...well maybe now is the time the universe decides if you're ready to fall."

I groan then, hearing an echo of Riv's words from months before. "Stop," I heard her laugh, grumbling to myself. "Stop talking to Riv. All of you. Quit meddling in my love life like you have nothing better to do." I roll my eyes and she laughs with me but inside...inside I keep turning over Mal's words. Wondering just how right she - and by default also Riv - might be.

Two Nights Later

I take two days to think over Mal's words before I end up at my wit's end trying to figure out Lo's silence. An odd thing since even when we'd first argued she'd say....something. But now? Now she was radio silent on all fronts. Spending the week she asked me for distance, shut up in her - our- old room and worked. Music plays under the door every time I walk past it. I had to resist the urge every time my feet stopped there not to knock, my hands balled into fists at my side or behind my back to avoid disturbing her. To avoid breaking my promise.

"You good?" Mal, Pey and, oddly, Hali snap me out of my mental trance and I blink in surprise. "Woah how long have you been staring at that wall for?" I shrug, "If you're looking for Lo she's not there. She left."

My anxiety skyrockets. "Left?" I choke out, not sure how to stop my hands shaking, my eyes searching around restlessly. "Whe-where did she go?"

"Just to work, about an hour ago," Hali chips in, watching me with a worried expression. Mal and Pey echoing the worried looks. Mal especially since she and I had talked a little a few days ago. "Still wanting to talk to her huh? I don't think her shift finishes till the early hours but if you need to talk to someone most of us are here tonight. Me, Mal, Pey, Mir, Michael, Ash and the twins at least. Not sure if Val or Luce are but-"