On a scale of one to ten

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POV: Peter

"Then?" I asked. Loki was telling me his life story, which I can't help but feel sympathy for. I mean, he's a bad guy, but he's still a person...

"Well, I decided someone needed to put a stop to Thor being king, so I took a secret entrance I know Heimdall couldn't see- Heimdall's the keeper of the Bifrost- and kind of let some Frost Giants in to steal the Casket of Ancient Winters. They failed of course, but it made Odin realize exactly how incompetent Thor was to rule. They never knew it was me." he breathed heavily, closing his eyes. "I don't remember why, but I then decided to try to steal the Casket myself. Obviously, as a prince of Asgard, I'm allowed into the vaults. Of course, then all I did was pick it up." he sighed. I knew most of what he was talking about from school.

"Of course, unbeknownst to me, I am not Odin's son. I am Loki Laufeyson, a Frost Giant, abandoned at birth by my real father. Odin decided to keep me. Of course, I didn't know at the time, and all I knew of Frost Giants were the stories I'd been told as a child. Anyway, when I picked up the Casket the Asgardian illusion Mother had been keeping on me this whole time was lifted, and there I was, a Frost Giant, who I've been told my whole life were evil. And Odin's standing right there behind me, watching for his own enjoyment."

"At first I convince myself it's just a curse. After all, things are cursed, especially things in the vaults. Then Odin tells me, 'you're adopted and I saved your life because I'm a good person' Obviously I don't believe him and he finally admits to taking me solely for peace with Jötunheim. And finally I realize that all those years he claimed I had a chance for the throne, he was lying. No wonder he didn't notice how bad of a ruler Thor would be."

"So-" I start saying but Loki shows me his hand, which is a shade of blue I'm pretty sure is not an Asgardian skin tone. He waves his other hand over it, turning it back to normal.

"So Odin basically took me as a war prize, and just after telling me that he falls asleep, which, of course, Odinsleep lasts for a decade or two usually. Thor had been banished, because he went to attack Jotunheim. I was supposed to bring him back, but with the throne at my fingertips I couldn't help myself. I'd told myself I wanted to show Odin I could be a good king. Really, I'd just wanted to rub it in his face. Still, I knew the moment Thor found himself worthy he'd be back and I'd be nothing but a living peace treaty again. And so I decided I'd have to show Odin that I could do whatever Thor would."

"I again allowed Frost Giants into Asgard, this time to kill Odin. However, I killed them first. My birth father was one of them." He paused. I didn't say anything. He was still a person. "He's supposed to be able to see everything going on around him. So I hoped that he would change his mind about my incompetence for the throne. Then I decided I should maybe kill Thor just to be sure."

Okay, he's kind of evil, but he's still a person and it sounds like Odin is really bad at parenting!

"So I sent a destroyer to him, which he managed to defeat. Heimdall betrayed me to bring him back to Asgard. I'd... I'd completely lost it at that point. I tried to destroy all of Jotunheim. Thor stopped me by breaking the Bifrost, because he finally realized that his beloved Jane Foster wasn't anywhere near as important as an entire realm. We both fell off the bridge, and Odin caught us before we fell into some other realm. He'd caught Thor's hand, not mine, and I'd barely hung on to his hammer. Then I realized exactly how bad my situation was. I'd tried to kill both of them, taken their throne, tried to kill off all of my own species... That was just it. I'd messed up. I couldn't bring myself to sit in a prison forever, ensuring peace by being alive and under Asgard's control. I let go and let them think I was dead. I didn't even let myself miss them. After all, they never cared enough to look for me, so why should I have?"

"Then I found the scepter. I knew it was the mindstone the moment I saw it, and it never occurred to me that it could be cursed, too. Of course, it wasn't... I still had wanted to rule something. Without anything else happening, I didn't have much else of anything to do. Either way, Ultron in its most primitive form was influencing me. I'd found one of Thor's Midgardian friends, Erik Selvig, and mind controlled him. I stole the tesseract, I got an army, and then the Avengers got the staff. I was regretting what I'd started, but I couldn't just stop now. After all, the army wasn't mine. So I tried to take over Midgard and the Avengers blew stuff up and Thor was all surprised I was alive. And then they locked me up in Asgard so I can ensure peace by being alive. Mother wasn't as mad as I thought she'd be, but she had a way of making me feel like an absolute fool... honestly, that was right. Conquering realms is a bit too much."

"So I sat there reading for a while, completely oblivious to whatever was happening in the real world. Apparently I was missing out on the Convergence or something like that, the Dark Elves, the Aether, which apparently bonded itself to Jane Foster, and... Mother died."

I watched him probably too intently, and he started looking uncomfortable. I almost was going to tell him he didn't have to keep talking when he did.

"Thor was busy protecting Jane, and... I guess she was outnumbered. I'm not sure if I would've been able to help, but-" he stopped himself talking. "Anyway, Thor came up with a plan to defeat the Dark Elves, I got to stab him, I faked my death again because I still felt like it was awkward being near him, but Jane showed him how to take someone's pulse so that didn't work and they locked me up here," he finished. I couldn't help but be confused by that story. All the bad guys I'd ever fought were random muggers or robbers who didn't have a reason to be bad guys, at least not real ones.

"So are you a good guy or a bad guy?" I finally said. he shrugged, like he thought whatever he said wouldn't matter.

"It... varies from moment to moment," he replied, fidgeting with his hands.

"So, like, on a scale of one to ten..." I said, "One being like saving the world, ten being... the evilest possible, like, killing innocent puppies for fun, you're?"

"A...three? Maybe four?"

"Cool. Tell me if it gets over six," I said. "Good night, Uncle Loki."

"Good night, Peter."

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If you're reading this fanfic you probably have seen the OG scale of one to ten thing, which is not mine but I will be using it because its genius and thank you whoever came up with it. Also you can tell me in the comments what you want the Avengers to do next for the game night thing Peter will continue to force upon them. Haha I love writing fanfiction.

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