NIALL HORAN.
2009
AGE 16
The air is so cold tonight.
It intoxicates the fresh stream of tears down my face, I feel the breeze through my shirt.
Today, I turn 16.
I've lost everything.
It has been only four fucking months and I've lost everything.
My mum was killed by the fucking bakery organsation months back now, my girlfriend overdosed, by dad left. I have nothing. There's no point. There's no reward.
The breeze calms me in a way. It makes me feel like I'm floating. It makes it easier to fall.
The stars are out tonight. They're so bright. Who the fuck knows if stars have souls in them. The stars are screaming for me. Screaming.
There's a burn. An undying ache in my chest. Knowing it doesn't get better than this. There's no one to pull me out of this shithole. No matter how bad I need it, there's no other side.
So, slowly, I let the tips of my feet edge off the side of the building.
I hope to fuck that in some parallel life, if they even exist, that I surely have a family, a loving one, that doesn't fucking die on me. They're sleeping in their bed tonight, and so am I.
I've lost everything in this life, maybe in another one I have everything.
Oh, to have everything.
I have as much money as I'll ever need but I'm fucking trapped. My bastard grandpa put me into this shit and there's now no escaping.
I lift my arms into a 'T' shape, the breeze feels like little knifes, it feels inviting almost. My body feels fuzzy, I take another swig of gin.
I look up to the stars again, leaning slightly over the edge.
"It's cold tonight, huh?"
My heart jumps out of my chest. I let myself yell as I turn to see Harry there, looking over to the view infront of us.
His hands casually in his pockets, I push him down from the ledge. I'm fucking angry. No one fucking sees me. Not a single person. How does he have the fucking right to tell me not to jump when he never saw me in the first place?
"Harry, fucking leave, okay?" I push him, Harry's hands stay in his pockets, his mood and stance unchanged.
He looks and me and doesn't say anything. "Shit, I've lost my mind." I say and take another sip of the drink that I've now almost ran out of.
Harry now looks down, he's presence is cold. Since Zayn passed, he's turned on us. He's cold.
"Maybe." He responds finally. "But have you lost yourself?" He asks and I look at him.
"Stop acting liking this. It's pathetic." I scream at him but he's still left unchaged.
"Have you?" he asks again.
"Yes, pretty fucking much. My girlfriend just overdoesed, I have no one fucking left." I burst at him. "I have no family, they're all dead. I fucking murder and harm people as a job and I can't leave because I know I will and I know I have nothing." I tell him, he flashes a brief, vulnerable look, as if his shield went down slightly.
But they came right back up.
He turns away from me, facing the view of Brighton again.
It's the roof of the modelling agency, his mum runs the place.
"You know, when my brother died, I felt the same way." he explains, his voice monotone. I realised that I've stopped crying as I listen deeper. "Was on this same room, actually." he tells me, I frown. "What's the point when you have nothing to lose, right?" He asks.
My heartrace has slowed down, I look at him, confused about how I feel. "Right." I say.
He turns to me, then looks at the view again. "Zayn wanted to live, would want me to live, I figured. I thought drugs and shit is a lot better than killing myself." He explains, his voice is still unfazed, as if it's his shell that is speaking. But, he's talking about his family so I know it's not.
"Your girlfriend." He speaks. "Would she want you to die, even when you feel like you have nothing?" He asks, now turning to me.
I shake my head.
"Right," he says and I begin to sober slightly, the feeling of the breeze hitting me feels less harsh. "It's your birthday, you've made it this far." Harry tells me and I nod. He taps my back. "Don't do it, your girlfriend will kill you all over again if she meets you down there." he smiles.
"Down there?" I ask, in a haze.
He shrugs. "Hell." I nod, know understanding a bit more what he's saying, yet I'm still left confused. "Fight, Niall. We've been dealt the wrong cards. But, we haven't lost, not yet, at least." He says and I don't respond, I barely digest it.
"Happy birthday, Niall." He says, putting both hands on my shoulders."I don't know what I'd do without you, man." He tells me.
He brings me into a hug. Different to how he behaves, it's warm, it's not what I imagine when I think of Harry. But I appreciate it.
He takes a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it before walking off, I watch him as he does.
I've been dealt with the wrong cards. But it's not over yet.
//
preach harry
thank you for the reads ik this book will get less reads as it's a sequel but im equally grateful
- loverry
YOU ARE READING
New Angel H.S
Fanfiction"Darling," he breathes in, containing his cries. "I need you to run. Run for me, Haze." "I love you." My weak voice murmurs. After one small yet elongated kiss, he disappears into the flames.
