Sad Peter parker

Eleven

I wake up from Gwen falling of my bed
"Oh come on not again" she said

"You feel of the bad too? I asked

"Yeah every fucking time"

I could hear Steve say "Language" walking through the hallway

"Maybe it's because you too a from another universe"

"Yeah don't care hurt like shit....I know language" Gwen said rolling her eyes before Steve could say anything

I stayed up from my bed and got in the bathroom I had I changed into normal clothes and looked at the mirror and for a short moment I thought about doing it again and flash voice came back again telling me how worthless I am and I should go die  the voice got louder

You  stupid boy
You're useless
Your worthless
Go jump of the roof
Die

I covered my ears "no" I say to myself  breaking into tears and falling to the ground

You're so weak

He was right I am weak I'm Spider-Man I shouldn't cry  I should help people and not be here sitting on the floor in the bathroom like a goddamn loser.

I should punish my self for that I looked around but couldn't see any blades of course dad locked them away  he's not stupid.

someone knocked on the door but I just cried I couldn't anweser it I couldn't even stay up all I could think about was how right the voice was how flash was right I am in fact a freak I am worthless and I should die.

I remembered how uncle Ben died in my arms how aunt may died in my arms, I couldn't save them I was to slow it's my fault they dead no one can tell me otherwise.

I remembered all the things flash did to me or told me i hit my head with my hands I just wanted to forgot it I just wanted it to get out of my freaking head so I hit my head again and again with my bare hands until my hands were full of blood I was bleeding from my head and hands

Oh no

I looked at the mirror I didn't see anything it's probably just a scratch and lucky...hopefully my hair hides it I washed my hamds I could see the wounds this wasn't so easy to hide but I tried it I rolled my sleeve down and opened the door where I could see
Harry sitting next to the door with his head in his head  and Gwen sitting on a bed with her head in her hands as well.

"are you  both okay? I asked

Harry looked up at me it seemed like he cried he stayed up and hugged me " I thought- I thought you did something- you scared me-" he said

Gwen looked at me and run to me to hug me I could tell she cried

"I'm sorry I let you both feel this way"

how could I do this to them How could I make them feel sad I hate myself for that

"Peter no that's not..." he made a pause "I'm just glad you still here" he said

"Me too I just want you to know all that matters is that you're alive save and happy" Gwen said letting go off me

Harry looked at my face

Please don't notice please don't notice I prayed

"Peter why are you bleeding?"