Sad Peter parker

Twenty nine

„Yo What's up loser" I heard mj say

I didn't saw her in a long time I missed her a lot. she was busy with college. Also didn't told her or anyone else that it is getting worse I mean I see flash nearly every damn minute I'm glad I don't see him right now

I turned around „hey mj" I said

"how you feeling?" she asked sitting next to me

"I'm fine" I lied

I felt like I don't do the thing I do like it's all in 3rd person. Short,I feel fucking terrible.

"Are you sure?" She asked me with a sceptical look

"Yeah.."

"Peter...I can smell when your lying you can't lie to me"

How...how does someone can smell lies? Is that some kind of superpower? Well I don't care though.

Or I'm just a bad liar which probably would make more sense but I won't accept that. I can lie. Just not very good. Wait....  just the same things fuck I am a bad liar.

"uh well..." I thought of a lie to made up but I couldn't find anything

Damn I really can't lie can I?

"do you wanna talk about it?" she asked

She derserve the truth I shouldn't lie to her she's one of my best friends I should get help right?

„Don't be mad at me"

"I won't I promise" mj said Calmy

I began to tell her about flash voice in my head and that  I see him often I even told her about the dream i told her that flash threatened me into a relationship with him. I told her everything

„Oh my- why didn't I had notice? That flash And you... why didn't I have noticed you always came to school with a black eye I'm so stupid I could have helped you  and then when. Flash... I'm so sorry I didn't help you" she cried in my arms

"mj it's okay I didn't told you you can't do anything for it it's not your fault don't blame yourself" I said and rubbed her back

"but if I just had notice-"

I interrupted her now looking at her
"mj please don't blame yourself it doesn't change anything it just makes you sad and I don't want you to be sad" 

"okay"

"promise me you won't blame yourself"

"I promise peter" she wishes her tears away and stand up from my lap sitting next to me again

"Good"

Are you seeing him right now?" She  asked when I was walking her back to college

"No" i sighed "I miss college"

I want to get back there but I know this would just be bad for my mental health I wish I could be Harry's roommate again and be there with my friends with mj,Gwen,Harry and having fun together all four of us.

"ask you dad if you can come back" she suggested

" I already did that he said I can't he's to scared I do something and he can't save me"

"we are here we could help you Peter if you want to get back to college then ask him or just ask your mom"

"I try maybe mom will agree" I shrugged

We were at the door of mj's room in college

"Well were here" I said when were standing in front of her college room she shared with Gwen.

"perhaps I visit you some time again"

"bye mj" I said and waved a goodbye before closing the door and walking back to my home

I hope mj is okay it's not her fault I didn't told her I didn't wanted her to get involved also flash said he kills her then I don't want that she blames herself it's all my fault not hers