Sad Peter parker

Nine

After breakfast I went to my room again and wrote a message to Harry:

Hey just came back from breakfast how is college?

Harry:
It's college it's fine I miss you and hey I didn't felt of my bed this time!

Me:
We should celebrate that I miss you too

Harry:
Haha yeah we should
Your dad told me I could visit you tomorrow  I bring Gwen with me

Me:
Really? I can't wait for you both

Harry:
I can't wait to see you too

I texted him see you tomorrow as well and then I went to the living room were sam and Bucky were they were eating popcorn but the tv wasn't on I heard them scream something earlier wait did they watch porn? Oh my god no I hope not get this out of my eyes oh my god I don't want to imagine my uncles having the diddly do together my eyes nope they were probably just watching teletubbies and when I came In they turn it off because they know it scares me or they just old and screamed and the tv for not working. but that sounds like a Steve thing to do.

"hey wanna watch a movie with us?" Bucky asked sitting on the couch and eating popcorn

"yeah sure"

"then sit down and choose one" Sam said

I sat down next to him and grapped after the remote I put on star wars

"you want popcorn?" Bucky asked

"nah I'm fine" I said and watched the movie

it reminded me of when I was watching it with Harry and eating pizza I like to remeber these moments.the moments I felt happy. There aren't many of them

When the movie ended I think Bucky just starred at the tv for over a minute and then said "I wish I had that back when I was a teenager" and then just walked away. 

"I guess he didn't have culture back then well expect the hobbit he read it in 1937 when it first came out anyway I better get after him before he finds out about. Doctor who and have a heart infact because it's so beautiful"

"Uhm okay bye" I said

Sam walked out of the door

I was in my room scrolling through old messages from our group chat again when my dad  came in 
I looked up from my phone he sat down next to me

"Pete you know at some point we have to make two conversations"

"which are?" I asked confused

"which are first how did you bring back Steve?"

I have no idea how I did that i didn't even though it would work I just wanted to Chance the topic but I mean I can bring aunt Nat back well I can try because I have no idea how I did that I mean I tried to bring aunt may back but apparently it only works on avengers for some reason

"I just said a no no word well lots of no no words and then he was just there no idea how I did that I didn't even though it would work but I tried and it worked so you're welcome"

"Okay"

"what's the other conversation?" I asked

"You selfharm and the fact that you tried to kill yourself" he said calm but worried

Oh

I don't feel like talking about that to be honest

"Uh do we have to?" I asked even though I know the anweser of that

"Pete..."

"Okay"  I said and began "you know in high school there was a guy called flash  and he bullied me" I made pause should I really tell him everything he did to me? Maybe he things I'm weak then

You're weak
You couldn't save your aunt may

I ignore the thoughts and talk again

"he used to call me penis Parker and lock me in lockers but that's not the worst part" i said quite

"it's okay kid take your time" he said

"Well the worst part was that he would beat me up after school and calling me weak,worthless and I belived him and all that one time he beated me up so bad I was nearly on the verge of dead and he spat on me I told aunt May that it was just a scratch I healed anyway and after this day it just got worse he would literally do it in school too in the breaks at lunch I couldn't escape him he was everywhere he would throw me into an empty classroom and beat me up,stab me and uh worse I don't wanna talk about now And he said when i tell anyone he kills all I love and then me I mean I don't care if I die but I don't want my loved ones to die he is in my college too and I was so scared when he saw me but he just made me a black eye I could escape him by kicking him in the nuts before he could do more I just wanna forget about it about everything he ever did"

I know sooner or later he will find me and hurt me again I just why me? Why can't he go away?

Dad looked at me for a minute with shocked eyes and anger in him "I definitely kill this monster you didn't derserve this I wish I could have helped you earlier I wish you didn't had to go through this"

Oh no I don't want dad to blame himself for what flash did it was just my fault I mean I was mean to him I didn't listen so he beat me up no big deal I got used to it sure I'm still scared but it hurt less I just don't want anyone feeling bad because of me

"Yeah he did but don't kill him then you go to prison you promised you don't leave again and besides I'm save here I'm not at college and when i go then I make sure he don't see me and it's not your fault he did that you didn't know it's okay"

I could see dads anger he was ready to kill flash but then he calmed down a bit

"I hate that your right I can't kill him but I can make his live miserable" he said and then he turned to face me "if anyone does that or even calls you names tell me okay? Is that the reason because of...that?"

"Yeah I will and yes it is but also because I couldn't save uncle Ben it's my fault he got shot and I wasn't there qick enough to save him and aunt may I just wasn't quick enough for her too and then you when I thought you were dead but it's not you fault"

It's my fault

"Oh Peter...I'm sorry" he hugged me "i will never let anyone hurt you ever again" he said and kissed my forehead then he left

It was true I was scared of flash even thought I'm Spider-Man and I shouldn't be scared of anything but I am. Maybe I shouldn't have told dad all that
when flash find out I told him he kills him,my friends and then me but I guess I can't change it now