traitor || sonadow angst

x

A few days later, I woke up to Sonic shaking and whimpering, gripping my arm.

"Sonic..." I tried to release Sonic's hand from my arm. He stirred upon hearing his name, then jolted awake.

"Shadow!" He panted. "Oh my god."

He wrapped his arms around me, practically crushing my ribs.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." I rubbed his back. "I'm right here."

"I-It was a nightmare? You're not dead?"

"Nope, not dead. My head hurts a little, but I'm still here." I chuckled. "It was just a nightmare."

Sonic buried his face in my shoulder.

"I need to distract myself."

"I can help you."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Nevermind. It's stupid, especially after what you've been through."

"You mean sex?" I chuckle nervously. "That's fine. I'm down."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Just because I was violated doesn't make me asexual. I hated him, but I don't hate you." He kissed my neck. "I could never hate you."

He continued to trails his kisses down my neck, to my collarbone. I stopped him, holding his face. I pressed my lips against his, feeling him melt into it. I tangled my fingers in his quills as he draped his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I licked his bottom lip, requesting access. He surrendered his mouth to my tongue, allowing me to explore every crevice.

My hand travelled to his crotch, making him moan down my throat. I watched him carefully, making sure he wasn't uncomfortable in any way.

"I need to get something." He muttered and walked to the kitchen.

-----

Shadow was growing a bit impatient. He approached his lover, sliding his arms around his waist.

Sonic went stiff. He couldn't breathe as he started to shake and tears rolled down his face.

"Sonic?"

"You promised you'd leave me alone!"

Shadow turned Sonic's face to look at him, uncovering his eyes.

"Faker, it's just me." His eyes widen upon realization. Shadow wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry. I should have thought before I did that."

Sonic succumbed to the embrace, sobbing into Shadow's shoulder.

"I-I'm so sorry."

"No, love. You have no reason to be sorry."

"I hate this." He sighed. "I hate being scared. He's still out there, Shads. What if he comes back?"

"I won't let him."

"I know... And I know you're not him, I just-"

"Sonic." He placed his hand on Sonic's cheeks, peering into his emerald eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize." Shadow sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm acting like a child."

"Faker. That's enough."

"But I'm putting all this on you!"

"And it's my job to hold it for you! I've dealt with a lot in my lifetime. I can handle anything you put on me." He smiled sadly. "Sonic, I'm doing this all for you. You are my reason for being, and I wish you would understand that."

-----

I was very jumpy. Every odd noise would make me shiver, hoping to god it was just Shadow. I tried to act normal. That was the only way Shadow wouldn't worry.

I didn't want Shadow to worry, but I didn't want him to think everything was okay and loosen up. I didn't know what I wanted.

I figured the only way I could have both was if I distanced myself. I didn't talk about what happened and I barely left my room. Shadow had made it very clear that I was not allowed to lock the door so he could get in if anything happened. I had set unspoken times that I would do certain things so he knew where I was, but no one else knew. He insisted on sleeping with me every night, as the middle of the night was the least safe.

He was passing off my distance as coping, but hell was he wrong.

IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG

i was reading these 2 really good kellic books by collidewiththemadnss and jesus christ I did not stop reading them for 2 days straight

im on a writing binge cuz im at my lowest right now, so expect regular updates.