traitor || sonadow angst

xxxiii

Shadow sat up in a cold sweat for the fifth night this week. He had only been asleep for an hour. He sighed, quietly getting out of the bed, careful not to wake Sonic. He creaked to the en suite, closing the door behind him. He turned the sink on low, splashing some water onto his face, then heading to their living room. He picked up his phone, texting one of the only important numbers in his contacts.

"Are you awake?"

He put his phone down, turning on the tv to whatever channel, then muting it. It lit up seconds later, unsurprisingly.

"Morning handsome"

"Can you come over?"

He didn't receive a response, only notified by the knock on his door. He strolled to the door, opening it quietly and letting her in.

"What's up? Why are you up so late?"

Shadow walked to the kitchen, allowing her to trail behind.

"Nightmare." He muttered, searching through his cabinets.

"Again? Are they regular?"

"Yes." He sighed, pouring the now found red wine into two glasses.

"Can't catch a break, can you?" She chuckled solemnly, taking a swig of her wine.

"It's not as bad as it used to be. I can still get back to sleep most nights without another nightmare." He explained. "They feel... wrong. Like an omen."

"Honey, I think you're just paranoid." She sighed, swirling the liquid in her glass.

"I'm not! I swear I'm not. It's not paranoia. I know paranoia." He snapped. A deep breath cycles through his lungs, calming himself.

"Does Sonic know?"

"No."

"You have to tell him, Shadow."

"I know. And trust me, I'd like nothing more than to be enshrouded with his warmth every time I jolt awake in the night, but he's been through enough. I don't want to scare him with the thought of an omen."

"Tell your therapist then."

"I will."

He sat on the couch, staring aimlessly ahead. There was more he needed to say. Thing he wouldn't say to some therapist, and especially not Sonic. He just needed to process it.

Rouge sat beside him, staring from the corner of her eye. Her gaze burned into him, almost like an interrogation. He sighed, not bothering to turn to her.

"I'm scared." He admitted quietly. She turned his head to face him, undoubtedly sending a look of useless sympathy.

"Of what?"

"Losing him. Again."

He knew he could never get over what he let happen, but he promised he would try. If he let Sonic get hurt again...

...Maybe divine punishment would be suitable.

"I know you, Shadow. You won't let anything happen."

"I told myself that last time." He spoke lowly.

"But he's alive, isn't he?"

"No good enough." He growled. "It never should have happened in the first place! He got hurt. He kept fucking getting hurt and I kept letting it happen."

His claws unlatched his forearms before they broke skin and he took a deep breath. He was better than this.

"Nothing will happen to him. I'll make sure of it."

—————

"Baby, did you sleep?"

Shadow cursed himself. He usually returned to bed after a nightmare, whether sleep enveloped him or not. He was usually good at hiding it.

"I did, for a time. Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Nightmare?"

Shadow sighed and nodded. He could read him so easily.

"What was it about?"

"Usual." He lied.

Sonic eyed him wearily. Shadow was a good liar until it came to him.

"Would you like breakfast?" He asked, if only to escape this dreadful conversation.

"Sure." He smiled.

Shadow helped him up onto a barstool, before turning to the kitchenette.

"What would you like?" He asked.

"Surprise me."

He got lost in the rhythm of cooking, a practice he hadn't known for long, but mastered quickly. Sonic's own cooking was surprisingly good, but he preferred his lover's food. Even if he hadn't cooked it, stealing from his plate felt rewarding, almost making the food taste better. A rat, he was. Maybe Robotnik was right about that.

His cooking slipped into a subconscious act as he became lost in his own thoughts. His recent nightmares left a hanging dread, something they never had before. There was a man with Sonic - faceless, but he was sure it wasn't Elias. They both knew he wouldn't be coming back. The figure was was slim and his fur was green, not someone he recognized. There were far too many green mobians in Mobius to identify him. The figure was reoccuring, and he couldn't shake the feeling of danger.

Maybe Rouge was right. Maybe he was just paranoid.

His eyes focused back on the pan, two fluffy pancakse there that weren't before. He looked back to check on Sonic, watching him tap at his phone. He knew he couldn't reach Shadow when he was cooking, but chaos knows Sonic couldn't simply sit and watch. Shadow had suggested downloading something to keep his hands busy, but he wasn't expecting the aggressive tapping and the voice of a blue-haired virtual singer to plague him every morning. To Sonic, it was better than silence.

He shut his phone off with a huff as Shadow served the pancakes onto fine china. His lover knew not to damage the plate - he had made that mistake before.

"I'll just do the toppings." Sonic smiled. The other nodded and took a seat at a barstool beside him.

"Frustrating round?" He chuckled, motioning to the discarded phone on the counter.

"You wouldn't know the half of it. I keep missing the same darn note every time. Made me angry."

He was right. Shadow didn't know, but he's take any excuse to listen to his voice.

"Holy crap, dude. This is delicious."

"You say that every time."

"Yah, 'cuz it's true." He spoke, mouth full of pancake.

"Hush, don't talk with food in your mouth."

"Ok mom, gosh." He laughed.

Shadow took in the sight of his lover, and it felt like the first time again. It did every time as of late.

He needed to get over it. If Sonic could, then he had to.

Hi guess what I don't like the direction I've taken this book so I might go back and tweak some things. I have the rest of the book mapped out and it's coming to an end, we may reach 40 chapters but i'm not sure. Make sure to look out for updates on my community page !!!

Love y'all