He hadn't pressed me to go on after I had stopped practically mid-sentence and at some point, we settled down on the bed. His hands had let go of my back and instead pulled the duvet over my body. I had watched him while he attended to me like my mom used to when I'd been sick as a child. Only, I wasn't a child anymore. Only, I wasn't sick now, at least not in that way.
After Matthew was done tucking me in, he hesitated for a second, the indecisiveness clear in his eyes. Then his hand approached my face, slow and cautious it seemed. His finger lightly touched my forehead when he brushed a strand of hair out of my face. A smile appeared on his lips and I watched in wonder as it grew a slight bit wider when I tried returning it. I was fairly sure it didn't come out half as brilliant and honest as his seemed to be.
He then retreated his hand and settled back on his knees next to the bed, the same position he had held when I had first woken up. Only this time, he was turned towards me, watching me with attentive eyes.
Seeing him sitting there when only a few minutes prior he was so incredibly close to me made me almost crave his touch again. I still wouldn't like it, that much was clear, but what I wanted, what I craved was the chance to get better on my own accord. I wanted to take steps to get better myself, to make myself better. Matthew was my way to that goal. He wanted to help and I could accept that. I trusted him in a way that was new to me. Comparing it to how I trusted my family was not even a possibility. With the way I grew up, there was no choice but to trust them. People that had behaved with that much love towards me for my whole life I couldn't in any way distrust. It was different with Matthew. Matthew I didn't have to trust. Matthew I had decided to trust. There had never been a lot of people close enough to me for me to say the same about them. The few that had still felt different to Matthew.
Suddenly, I felt a sliver of insecurity about how this felt. It wasn't so much the feelings themselves but more the fact that it should be weird. I should be confused to be feeling this close to someone that was still only little more than a stranger. Not even two weeks ago I hadn't known Matthew. How was it possible to feel so close to someone I barely even knew? The fact that I didn't question this at all was what creeped me out. Without even realising how it should be strange in the first place, I had simply accepted it for what it was.
"Your mother will probably want you to call her." It was the first thing he said to me for a long time so I blinked, processing the fact that the silence I had almost immediately been accustomed to had been dispelled.
"Yes." My affirmation was meant more as an acknowledgement of his statement rather than an incentive to actually call her. He seemed to believe otherwise thought, considering the phone that was suddenly handed to me, my mother's number already dialled. The only thing left was for me to press the green button. I stared at it for a little while before I did.
Unconsciously, I found myself counting the rings that sounded after I had pressed the phone to my ear and as expected, after the third ring a seemingly stressed voice called a "Charlotte Lewis, how can I help you?" through the speaker. Matthew had called her business phone.
"Mom." I hadn't meant to sound so weak, but in that moment, I couldn't help it. Hearing my mother's voice had unexpectedly made me want to cry.
"Duncan? What's wrong?" Only then I realised that she didn't know anything. How would she have gotten hold of the information? My still being here meant that my name hadn't gotten out anywhere. And it hit me then that I didn't even know what had happened between me falling asleep and waking up here.
The only indication my mother had was my voice and I knew she could read it perfectly.
So I cleared my throat and put a smile on my face. She couldn't see me but the more I acted, the better I did so.
"Hey mom. Everything's alright, don't worry. Just a bit tired is all." I let a small laugh escape my lips, only at the last second catching the sob that threatened to come forth as well.
"You? Tired at 10pm?" I could almost see her right eyebrow shooting up and her lips forming a slight pout.
"Yes mother. I am tired at 10pm. We had an early morning today." My lies sounded almost convincing even to my ears and I didn't know where it had come from. Never in my life had I been able to lie to my parents.
"Alright then..." I could tell she didn't believe me. Maybe I wasn't as convincing as I'd thought.
And maybe that had something to do with the fact that tears were already pooling in my eyes, threatening to spill over again.
"Another thing mom. I'll stay a bit longer, they extended the induction for another week because we got so much work done." I didn't know where these lies came from. How I had suddenly decided I would rather stay with Matthew was just as much of a mystery to me.
"Oh. Okay then. Wait... you worked during induction?"
"Yeah. Yeah, we did." don't waver. Don't waver. Whatever you do, don't waver! "And it worked perfectly. Okay, gotta go now. Bye."
I closed the call before she even had a chance to answer.
My hands were shaking when Matthew reached over to take his phone back. Then, he held my fingers lightly, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.
I started at it, following the movement and while the touch made me want to pull my hand back, the sight of the invisible circles he drew on my hand was calming me down more than I wanted to admit.
When he put another phone in my hand I had to stare at it for a moment to understand that it was mine. I unlocked it out of habit and even though there were a lot of notifications, it wasn't enough to shock me. At that moment it finally sunk in that yes, Matthew had been right. I hadn't been gone for long. It had only - barely - been a day, maybe two. I swallowed.
There were a few messages from some people I knew from University that thought of themselves as friends of mine. They were merely asking how I was doing with my job and if I wanted to hang out. I ignored them.
Then, there were another 26 messages and 7 calls. All from Oliver. I took a deep breath while closing my eyes. Of course he had been worried. We had seen and heard so much from each other after meeting again and now I hadn't contacted him for a few days in a row. Especially with him, I understood.
I read through all his texts. The first few were harmless, asking me where I was, soon after including questions about getting it on with my 'hot beast of a boss'. I couldn't hold back a small chuckle at that, immediately lifting my eyes to look at Matthew, who wore a happy smile on his face.
I blinked a few times, then moved my eyes back to my phone in hopes of hiding my deepening blush.
After a few more texts, I could tell he got worried. They got longer, asking me to talk to him, whatever it was about, that he would understand, that he wanted to do that for me in order to stay close to me, stay friends. I swallowed down the urge to cry at this. I wasn't sure if he thought I didn't trust him enough to talk to him or if he thought I'd left him. Neither was the truth - at lest not completely.
After I had read through all the texts, I turned the screen off. For now, I didn't want to talk to him or explain anything of what happened. I didn't think I could do it and I didn't want him to worry while I tried to get myself together enough to actually talk to someone.
I moved my hand to put the phone on the bedside table and in that exact moment, it started to ring. It was an eery sound in the silence that had - again - settled over the room, a silence Matthew had granted me to read my messages.
The phone almost dropped from my hand at the not forgotten but definitely unexpected sound. It vibrated in my hand while I contemplated whether to take it or not. I wouldn't have had to look at the screen to know who was calling, but Oliver's flashing name only confirmed it.
Sighing I took the phone, hoping he'd let me fool him as easily as I had managed to fool my mother.
Author's Note:
So this was more of a filler chapter but I still hope you liked it..
As always, drop a comment and leave some love (or criticism) for me :D
Love y'all <3
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Among Us (boyxboy) [ON HOLD]
RomanceWhen Duncan starts working for Dr. Prescott, he doesn't know what he should expect. The gorgeous psychologist is unpredictable and makes Duncan fall for him almost immediately. Between trying to deal with his placement year, Dr. Prescott's advances...