180 Degrees- Completed

Chapter Forty Nine

"He won't notice you're here Avery." I mocked as they sat us down in the front row "You guys might as well be putting a neon sign above my head." They all rolled their eyes as our 4 boys jogged over. "Oh look, here come 4 of them." The girls pulled me to my feet, dragging me so I was leaning against the fence with them. 

"You've all late." Logan stared at us. 

"Blame Vee." Brooke rolled her eyes. 

"I mean you guys could've come without me." I drunk from my cup. 

"You didn't want to come?" 

"See you guys sure. See Duke? No. I'm good thanks." I stood up straight watching them on the other side of the field. 

"He's not going to see you Vee. Chill out." Izzy groaned. "One more word about it and I swear to go I'll shout him over myself." 

"Who are we talking about?" Mason reached up, taking my cup from my hand and drinking. It's a good job it was just cherry coke. 

"Avery's ex." 

"Which ex?" 

"Her only Ex." Natalie slapped Mason as he handed me me cup back. I pulled a face and wiped along the rim. "You know she's barely tolerated anything here. She wasn't like that at Duke." 

"She was a total whore." Caz raised her cup and we all stared at her. "4 guys in 3 months." 

"Oh my god, I slept with one of them." I rolled my eyes, turning and sitting back down. "Will you two stop causing trouble? I'll leave you here." 

"What for us to tell him this is where you are?" I sighed, rubbing my temples. 

"Oh my god. Where here for football. Literally nothing to do with me so why is that all we can discuss?" 

"You're right." Chels nodded, turning her back to the guys but staying stood there as she faced me. "So Avery. Of the Duke team which number did you sleep with?" I put the palm of my hand on my forehead as they laughed. 

"Okay. That's it. I'm going home." I stood up but Caz pulled me back down, hand on my hip furthest from her so I couldn't. 

"Stay." 

"I'm not a dog Caz." She smiled, laying her head on my shoulder. 

"He misses you too." 

"Really could have gone my whole life not knowing that."

"Well now you don't have to." 

"We need to go. Avery. Don't leave. We'll come find you if you do." I looked over at Mason who smirked at me. 

"You wouldn't dare leave in the middle of the game." 

"Wouldn't we?" 

"No. You wouldn't. Coach would kill all 4 of you." They laughed, shooting us all individual smiles before walking back to the rest of their team and the girls sat back down. 

"Who are THEY?" Eve giggled. 

"They are they boys." Natalie smirked, crossing her legs. "Any bets on who likes who?" 

"Mason likes Avery." Caz chuckled. 

"They went on a date at the start of year." 

"They flirt all the time." 

"Oh my god. What you guys say is flirting is me holding a conversation. If what I do with Mason is flirting then you guys get flirted with a lot more than you give me credit for." I shuffled in the seat, pulling down on my shorts under the jumper. 

"No. You're different with him." 

"I am not. Mason is Mason. I don't feel anything for him. He could come over her and French Eve and I wouldn't bat an eye." I rolled my eyes. 

"If you don't feel anything for him, why do you let him just take your drinks like that?" 

"What is this third degree?" 

I was grateful when the game started and the girls finally had something else to pay attention to other than me. This is precisely why I wanted to go out of town for this weekend. It sucked that I had a class this afternoon that I'd had to go to which gave them an excuse to keep me talking until the girls got there and then I was trapped.

I had only caught one of his games back in Durham. It felt weird being this close to him. I know it wasn't close. He was on the opposite side of the field. Not even coming close to where we were stood. But it felt strange him being on campus, my eyes able to watch him again. I know 18 months is a long time. The longest time. 

But not much had changed. 

Not with me anyway. I still felt the same confliction. But this time the sadness of everything was too overwhelming for me to care. 

No one else was like him. I didn't need more than a single date with a guy to know that. Even before the date stage. No one made my heart flutter like he did. No one stopped my breathing, sent electricity through every single fibre of my being. Not like he did. 

And watching him here today just confirmed that for me. 

But it was over. 

Long in the past and I had hoped that being here in Boston, 700 miles away from him. That that would help. That the distance would make moving on easy like it had been moving on from Oscar. But the heartache was blocking me from feeling anything for anyone else. He was all I wanted. He was it for me. 

And I let him go. 

All over my stupid pride. A stupid regret that didn't even matter now and didn't matter then. Because I was so fucking worried about what other people would think. About Caz and Eve and Izzy. About how I'd be judged as stupid and naïve if I did go back to him. 

And now here they were, forcing me to sit here because they knew exactly what it would make me think, exactly what it would make me realise. These girls knew me better than I knew myself. 

"Are you singing at the party tonight?" Izzy spoke in my ear as the crowd went crazy for the touchdown. I shrugged, not taking my eyes off him. "The bands playing again. I'm sure they'll let you if you wanted to." I turned and looked at her. "I heard you with them last week Vee. Are you going to join them?" 

"I don't know." I looked back at the field. "It's fun with them. I like being on stage with them but I don't want to jump in and take over for Liam you know? He said if I wanted to, he'd happily take a back seat but I don't think that's fair." 

"I mean if he's volunteered." She shrugged. "You suit being on with them Vee. I haven't seen you have as much fun as that in like a decade."  I tried to not respond as he was thrown to the floor by Mason as he continued running. I couldn't be seen responding to the other teams player falling down. Not from my standing.  

"He's fine. He's had worse happen." Caz put her hand on my knee and I turned my head to her. "You're worried about him." I turned my head back and watched him stand up, pulling off his helmet on the side lines. His blonde hair was so weighed down with sweat it was almost brown right now. 

"I'm always worried about him Caz." He turned and looked in our direction. I was probably just another blur in the crowd. He wouldn't be able to see me from over there. But my heart stopped beating anyway.