"So, Mark, do you really not recognize me or are you just ignoring your childhood best friend?"
When her best friend moved to Korea to become an idol, their contact died down and they soon started living lives completely separate from one another...
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Gyuri felt hopeless and completely off track as she strolled through the uni hallways. Even though there were tons of people and visual triggers surrounding her, she couldn't take in any of it as her thoughts consumed her. All she could think of was Mark's devastated figure after leaving him in the practice room. She couldn't get it off her mind, constantly seeing his hurt face in her head.
After leaving SM the day before, Gyuri had gone straight home and taken a hot shower, where she replayed their conversation in her head. She relived every feeling, every emotion she had felt as if it was the first time hearing those words. Her mind still went into a frenzy whenever she thought about his confession. She couldn't process the idea of it, the idea of Mark liking her was incomprehensible. She kept thinking it was a lie, but deep down she knew it wasn't. The honesty in his eyes when he had told her could attest to that.
She couldn't lose him. That was the only thing she was sure of. Not now that they had reunited and connected on a different level, as adults. His confession had put her in a tough spot because both options would bring about a risk of losing each other. On the one hand, saying she didn't reciprocate the feelings he had for her would turn things strange between them, and possibly awkward. But Gyuri figured, or hoped, that that was something they could get through eventually. She didn't want to imagine what would happen to them if they decided to date and then end up breaking up. That would permanently damage their bond to the point of no return, and Gyuri wasn't willing to take that risk.
Still, she couldn't stop thinking about it all. At home, at uni, wherever she was, she imagined all the different scenarios that could happen after their conversation and how they would affect their lives. She desperately hoped that Mark wouldn't shut her out from embarrassment or hurt. But in all honesty, even if he did, she couldn't say she didn't understand. What she knew for sure was that she'd fight to keep their friendship alive and wouldn't back down.
In the moment that he confessed to her she had gone into automatic pilot, operating merely with her head, not her heart. All this time, she didn't dare to open up her heart in fear of the feelings that would come flooding out. When she reunited with Mark, she had told herself not to fall for him again because that would only complicate both of their lives dramatically. She was caught up in her studies for the next few years and would have a very time-consuming job after that. Not to mention the consequences it would have on Mark's life, with him being an idol and all. If he was even allowed to date, it would have to be a complete secret. Not only that, but Mark was even busier than Gyuri and often flew around the globe for his job. Considering all factors, the risk of a break-up was way too big to get involved in feelings.
Therefore, Gyuri had promised herself to not let those feelings bubble up again. It was no secret that she admired Mark for the great person he was; he had so many endearing qualities about him that it was hard not to. She had gotten over him once and she didn't want to have to go through that ever again.
