Changes | Mark Lee

62.

Whenever she thought about the decision she and Mark had to make, Gyuri felt extremely divided. On one hand, she wanted to deny the rumors and minimize the amount of negative publicity Mark and his members would have to deal with, but the idea of confirming a relationship and not having to be so secretive... it did sound tempting.

Still, she was constantly jumping from one decision to the other and couldn't figure out what she wanted to do. So instead, she did something that would help her get rid of some of her worries and relax; she went out into nature with Charlie. She didn't have any lectures today and the rest of her work could wait a day, so she took the dog into the car and drove for a little while until she reached the mountains.

Together with the big dog who was built for the mountains, she trailed across the various paths and routes, stopping a few times to take in the view. It wasn't very busy as it was a weekday, leaving her to enjoy the peace even more. She took in the soft rustle of the leaves from trees that had recently started blossoming as spring was near.

The rays of sunlight fell onto her face as she took a seat on a bench overlooking the area, Charlie lying down in front of her. Gyuri closed her eyes, feeling the sun slightly warm her skin and she was glad it was getting warmer again little by little. The soft breeze blew through her hair and she breathed in deeply, the fresh air running through her lungs.

Being in nature like this always helped her when she felt stressed. It made her problems and worries seem less significant, not that they didn't matter but she felt like she could breathe here. Surrounding herself with nature made her realize she was only a small particle on this earth and in this universe, and that her problems weren't as troubling as she made them out to be. She became more relaxed and her mind cleared up a little.

The truth was, she didn't want Mark to feel burdened with the negativity that would undoubtedly follow if he revealed their relationship. Even if he said it didn't matter, Gyuri knew the haters would treat him brutally if they heard the news. She despised them for being so dehumanizing toward idols to the point where they couldn't enjoy the simplicities of a normal life. Gyuri couldn't imagine how frustrating it must be to live a life like that, where you were always scrutinized for everything you did. The worst part was that Mark kept saying it was okay like he was accepting their controlling nature. He probably didn't have a choice but to accept it, but Gyuri wished he'd at least be honest with her in saying that he hated it— because there was no way he didn't. If there was one thing she knew about him, it was that he loved the simple things in life, and doing those with people he cared for. He always enjoyed going on walks or visiting nice stores but his job now prevented him from doing so with anybody but his members or staff because he'd be loathed for it by some people on the internet, whose opinions always mattered more to SM than they should.

Charlie moved by her feet and hopped onto the bench to rest his head on Gyuri's lap. She figured the dog sensed her troubled mind and stroked his fur with a small smile. Behind her, she heard the loud laughter of kids and turned her head to see a group of schoolkids walking two by two after their teacher. She involuntarily smiled seeing their happy faces and youthful innocence, something she sometimes missed in herself. Near the back of the group, she saw a young girl and boy walking together laughing and she immediately thought of her and Mark. It was almost the spitting image of them when they were younger, and Gyuri felt a wave of nostalgia hit her. She turned back around to face the view and played with Charlie's collar.