~27~ Fears you have to face

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Lights were dimmed down to a bleak hope - the air still and all the more mild.

The silence was broken by soft cracks under the surface of peace.

Eyes crack open - the ceiling and its misshapen textures alluring to a mind not yet focused. The warmth had settled into a cocoon of covers tucking me in a place that felt cozy and shut off from all worries.
Those same eyes of mine fell closed and I turn to lay on my side, expression tainted as I break off from the serene moment and move to sit up. Blankets of stark cream white silk pooled near my waist - white. White. White.

Nearly everything was a bland shade of white. A canvas of eggshell, snow, and off-cream having yet to be painted with color or any sign of life.

Lifeless. Dull. Unwanted.

A large bed sat in the center, tucked up by the back wall and across from a four drawered dresser topped with clear vases of white roses and daisies, and small, meaningless decorations.
Two paintings of a snowy field rested on the wall either side of the large furnishing - the only vague, pale splash of color keeping my sanity at bay being the pastel orange-pink sunset viewed in each one.

Plain. Everything was plain even down to the silver hued doorknob.

My heartbeat was uneven - skipping in place and only one question fluttered in my head like a falling piece of charred paper.

Where was I?

It certainly was no hospital - hospital...why did that seem familiar - not the word itself persay...but the place?

I draw my knees closer - no sound daring to creep out and my breathing was deafening.

Where...where...

My hands find comfort in my upper arms, rubbing the soft skin in a silent plea of realization that I was ok.
For now I was ok.
My heart skips again - fingers jumping back as they graze a cold surface and that was when I took notice.

Hidden just under the short, baggy sleeve of my white shirt, was a gleam of silver hugging my upper left arm.
My fingers took caution in ghosting the thin band. The darker gray edge was prodded, pulled at as a breath was tore loose and to a broken dismay the strange item didn't budge from its place - in fact a few dulled points dug into my skin from underneath the shimmering band.

I wanted it off.

With a inhale I stop the lingering pain trying to puncture my arm, frame stilling and with some persuasion I lift my gaze as though scanning the room once more.
Beside the bed was a nightstand topped with a lamp and when I finally allowed myself to slide off the bed I kneeled down beside it - shifting through the two drawers to find them each empty. My gaze wavered with defeat, glancing over the clean bandages wrapping around my left ankle, seen only just from under loose fitting, plaid pajama pants.

I stand within moments - taking in my surroundings long enough to linger back towards the tall dresser.

My strides were long - my shoulder exposed by a sleeve that had fallen.
The same process was repeated, each of the four drawers pulled out to reveal nothing of value or nothing and at all.

Empty. Desolate. Completely barren.

Desperation flickered in my eyes as they scanned over the door I didn't want to go near, and back towards the disheveled bed where something caught my eye.

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