What is it about..? (JeffBarcode)

Occupied mind

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How is that when your mind is occupied by something all of the time... when you are obsessed.. You maybe are sitting there doing nothing just drifting somewhere where nobody else can drift with you.. Cuz it would be too dangerous.. there are those forbidden thoughts.. shameless thoughts.. your best desires and deepest sorrow... and it would make a pretty mess when they would come out..

But when you can't help you need to really do something or your ass would explode.. You're tense... you need to release it..

So you better sit on the floor, take your guitar to sing.. sing it all out loud.. and it's innocent, isn't it? cuz this is just singing.. You can be seen just as lost in the melody.. not in the meaning of the words which you wanna scream the most.

There are your mates having their own business, sometimes comes to listen to you, sometimes to join..

Aaand... then.. he comes.. to sit with you an to sing with you.. aaand you can sing it all to his eyes.. aaand you with him... make this absolutely unique contact..

To sing together like this you need to feel the same way.. you need to feel this energy, this rhythm.. to find harmony with the other voice... you need to match your heartbeats.. It doesn't matter if it's your old friend or a complete stranger for this moment you create your own universe.. and sometimes it can last just a few seconds...

But this universe.. this one seems last an eerie while.. you need a lot of courage to stay in this closeness to allow yourself to be vulnerable in this tangible presence.. cuz yeah.. it touches you deeply..

And you have that courage, and more importantly, he has that too..

And you two are singing about love, piercing each other with every word...

And it's so special that people around must notice.. and they watch you.. and they whisper..

... ... ...

Gosh.. he's sitting here, daring to keep staring at me like this.. His stare runs through my spine..

How?

HOW for the holy caw can I stay close to this boy without making all these things I have in my head... fuckin shit.. what I had in my fucking mind to settle it like this..
I'm insane.. just torturing myself..

Congratulation idiot..

God, babe... If you only knew how I want to touch you.. where my hands would go..

Damn.. I'm just getting myself horny... uhh.. best..

Okay... I need to release my tension in a more productive way.. Fuck.. I'm jerking off twice a day here like a total freak..

The imagination of this pushing hips movement is stuck in my brain..

Oooh fuck, ok.. I go.. I go sing a different piece..

So I get up and head to our room. Leaving behind a disappointed heart and a longing expression on a sunshine's face.

... ... ...

When you have a crush, it's easy to get lost in thoughts of him and find it difficult to focus on anything else. You crave his attention and hope for a chance to connect with them. It's like a powerful intoxication that takes hold of you. And you really try..

And at some point you let him discover your potential as a composer. With him you discover yourself, you let him see the nakedness of your mind ... and he proudly watches you bravely step into unknown waters.