AFRAID {a.i.}

CHAPTER TWELVE

Song of the Chapter: IDFC - Blackbear (also the song of this story)

Weeks past quick and it was Ashton's birthday today. I wasn't seeing him but I did say we would possibly spend the Sunday together. I had no idea what he was doing but he was with his grandmother. That made me happy. She made him feel safe and that's what I wanted for him. I decided to just spend the day with Grandma and Jeff, since Brad was with Ana's family. Funny that, I hadn't even met her family yet. Grandma suggested shopping and obviously I couldn't deny. We decided to go out of town, to change it up a little. Jeff loved driving and I loved to sit and admire the views, so it was ideal.

"So what's your mystery boy doing today?" Grandma chuckled and Jeff laughed. I rolled my eyes. They continuously complained that they hadn't met him yet, but we weren't official we were just dating and experiencing life. He'd never done this before, because he's the bad boy, and I hadn't either because I was afraid.

"It's actually his birthday; he's with his grandmother." I answered. I quickly took out my phone and typed away, remembering I hadn't wished him a happy birthday yet.

"I do love a family man. What about his mother and father?" Jeff asked. I sighed.

"His mother left him, and his father... It's complicated." I answered. The car was silent.

iMessage sent to: Ashton
Happy Birthday Ashton, have a good day. X

We spent hours shopping before we stopped into a cafe for food and drink. I didn't get a message back from Ashton but I tried to ignore that. He was probably with his grandmother, with his phone off. Jeff ordered us food and my grandma shifted in her seat. I raised an eyebrow as she tried to avoid eye contact.

"Grandma?" I spoke, she refused to look up. "Are you okay?" I looked to see if Jeff was still queuing. He was.

"I-I'm okay." She replied, still avoiding looking at me. I tried to catch her eye but she refused to look.

"Grandma.. Tell me, what's wrong?" I suggested. She shook her head. I was beginning to irritate me. "Grandma. Please."

"Maybe we should wait until Jeffs back." Grandma finally looked up and I could see the fear in her eyes. What was going on?

"No!" I raised my voice. "Tell me now Grandma."

"Brooke..." She started. I leaned in, I needed to know right now what was going on. "It's your father." I froze. Everything around me stopped and I almost fell out of this atmosphere. I wasn't there. I was gone. My heart picked up pace.

"The food should be here soon." Jeff sat down smiling but I still sat immaculately still.

"He's coming back to Australia, Brooke." Grandma continued. Jeffs face dropped. I could tell he already knew but he refused to say anything. I wanted to cry. I wanted to smash the glass in front of me. What right did he have to be here again?

"Brooke." Jeff repeatedly called my name until I fell back into reality. I pushed my hand across my forehead, lightly tugging my hair.

"No. He can't be.. He.. When?" I stuttered.

"We don't know. But he's staying with his mother down the road from us." I remember my gran, she was old and frail. I had not been to see her since I was back because I was scared that I would see him in her again. It frightened me.

"Oh." I let out a sigh and looked at the couple queuing with their daughter. I looked down and closed my eyes. "Well let's stay out of his way."

"Brooke-"

"No, it's fine we can just stay out of his way and he won't notice us. It's okay." I opened my eyes and bit my lip, nervously.

"Maybe we should head home after this." Grandma considered. Jeff nodded and I just sat silent in my seat. I somehow tried to process what was going on but it wouldn't settle. When the food arrived, I refused to eat it.

We got home later than we wanted but as soon as we did, I ran to my room and closed the door. I slid down the door and silently cried. I reached out to the drawers and took the picture of me and my father out. I put my finger over his face and looked at myself. I was smiling. I was happy. I was young. I suddenly ripped the picture and threw it over the room.

Hours past, I just laid on my bed, in silence. My grandma knocked a few times, as did my brother and Jeff, but I didn't budge. I just stayed still. The more I looked at the ceiling, the more awake I felt. A tap on my balcony window repeated. I sighed and moved quickly, immediately gaining a headache. I opened my curtains and noticed a slumped over Ashton. How the fuck did he get up here. I opened the door silently and he flooded in. I noticed the can in his hand and smelt the alcohol fill my room.

"I've waited to see you all day." Ashton slurred. He was drunk. I sighed and hushed him as I closed the door behind me.

"Ashton, why are you drunk?" I questioned.

"It's my fucking birthday." He cheered. I tried to keep him quiet but it failed. Truthfully, I didn't care what anyone heard. Clearly, something's happened.

"What's happened Ashton?" I walked to him and took the can away from him, tossing it in the bed.

"I was drinking that." He cackled. "Hey, I love my fucking dad." I flinched at his words of dad. I tried to shake it off, this wasn't about me. He sat on the bed and I leant against my wardrobe door.

"What's happened Ashton?" I repeated.

"He came home today, oh what a fucking asshole. He thought 'oh hey let's ruin my only child's birthday' by being pissed as fuck and angry. He tried to hit my grandmother. But you know I didn't let him. I threw him outside and he just continued to throw a hit. I thought it was fucking typical. Happy fucking birthday Ashton boy." I watched him aggressively throw his hands up in the air. I was hurt for him. I didn't know whether to stay silent or say something.

"Where's your grandmother?" I blurted out.

"I left her sleeping, my fathers no where to be find. Seriously, typical." Ashton huffed and stood up, walking to me. "I just needed to see you Brooke."

"Ashton, you're drunk." I sigh.

"And you're beautiful." He smiled and I looked down. I knew if our eyes met, I would burst into a flood of tears.

"Ashton, you can sleep on the bed, but please it's late." I insisted. He nodded and his arms flung around me and held me tight. I closed my eyes.

"Please stay with me." I heard him whisper, painfully. I kept my eyes shut.

"I'm not leaving Ashton, it's my house after all." I tried to joke but I knew that he didn't mean that. "I'm right here Ashton. Okay?"

"Okay." I helped him back to the bed and pulled the covers over him. I started to walk away but he grabbed me. "Where are you going?" His voice was like a child. He tried to sound strong, but I knew deep down he was weak.

"I just need to change. I'll be back, I promise." I ran my hand over his forehead. I walked into my wardrobe and closed the doors. I changed into an oversized t-shirt with some shorts under. I walked back to my room and got in bed. I noticed him asleep. I tried to keep the distance not wanting to wake him. But I felt him edge closer to me. His arms fell over my body and instantly I was safe.

"I really like you Brooke... I think I might even..." His voice quietened down as I heard light snores against my neck. I opened my eyes.

"You might what?" I whispered but no reply. He might... What? I couldn't focus. I needed to know. I wanted to know. I wanted to wake him but I couldn't. Just let it be Brooke. Let it be.

I felt like the hours I slept were barely real. But when I did wake up I noticed an empty space beside me, that's real. I sat up and noticed by notepad fall off the pillow. I picked it up and let my eyes adjust to the page.

I'm sorry, see you soon or something.

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HI GUYS I JUST REACHED 150 VIEWS AND THAT PROBABLY SEEMS NOTHING TO YOU GUYS, WHICH IS EMBARRASSING BUT YEAH. THANK YOU SO MUCH- becki xx