AFRAID {a.i.}

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Song of the Chapter: BRB - Lany.

It was the Friday before summer breaks out and school was over for a while. I got myself ready for the last day of school. Ashton had been ignoring me since Saturday's incident. I didn't know why or what I had done but it hurt me a lot. I would see him at school and it was like I didn't exist. I tried to move away from it, as I knew deep down it was only a dream in my eyes.

Walking into school this morning, something felt different. I tried to look around to see if anyone was looking or is something was different. My eyes landed on Ashton. I felt my body freeze. He was with a girl from the cheerleading squad. I knew instantly she was easy by how flirty and how short her skirt was. I shook it off, walking past them. My focus was to the entrance until I noticed Ashton's friend approach me. It was Calum.

"Hey, Brooklyn." He started to walk next to me. I turned and noticed Ashton watch me. I ignored it.

"Please call me Brooke." I smiled and he nodded opening the school entrance for me. I walked through into the corridors and continued walking to my locker.

"Please inform me why Ashton's changed back to... Well Ashton." Calum sighed and I shrugged, saddened by Calum's comment.

"I don't know Calum. He stayed over Saturday and was gone by the time I woke up." I opened my locker and placed some of my books in. Taking my notepad out. Exam week had passed and it was shocking how little books I needed now.

"Did he say anything unusual?" Calum leaned next to my locker. I slammed the locker door shut and looked at him.

"I guess he said he really liked me and that he might something, but he fell asleep before he even finished." I shrugged as if it was nothing but by the way Calum's face dropped, I knew it was something.

"He- oh wow. That explains it all." Calum answered. I raised my eyebrow.

"Explains what?" I curiously asked but obviously the bell rang and Calum left me with just a smile. I huffed and walked to my first lesson. Throughout English I noticed Ashton watch me. I tried to ignore it until his stupid girl knocked over my bag when walking past. I crouched down and picked up my books.

"Hey Fiona, help her." Ashton called. I rolled my eyes and finished up, sitting back in my seat.

"Oh what do you care?" I snapped. He sat back and didn't reply. People could feel the tension but I tried to focus on the book we were reading.

Finally the day ended and Cassie walked with me home. Brad, Jeff and grandma were all busy so Cassie suggested that she would walk with me since her house was on the way.

"I can't believe Ashton, what a dick move." Cassie spoke up. I nodded. I was tired of hearing about Ashton so it was annoying that I heard him even from Cass.

"I know right, but hey that's Ashton." I lied. It wasn't Ashton, at all. He was deep down different. Something happened. Even Calum knew that. I needed to know what he was going to say. What could be so bad that he needed to ignore me for the rest of the week.

"Anyway, maybe we should do something this weekend, me and you." She suggested. My mind thought about Ana. She wasn't at school, and Brad couldn't pick me up.

"Are Ana and Brad together?" I asked and Cass nodded.

"Didn't you know?" I shook my head and sighed. I didn't feel as close to Brad over this week. I knew it wasn't Ana because I loved her but something was different with him. "Well I'll text you okay." Cassie hugged me before turning the corner. I waved and continued walking. I eventually got to my road and noticed a black car outside my other grans house. I ignored it as I had no idea what was going on with my gran and who was I to judge, I haven't seen her in years. I walked past and something startled me. I stopped. My fathers voice. The fact he was coming back slipped my mind after everything that has been going on. I turned and saw him, this was the first time in a few years. He looked at me and I shot a glare. As he approached me I backed away.

"Brooklyn Ava, is that you?" He smiled. How dare he smile? I shook my head and continued walking to my house. "Ava."

"Don't you dare call me that." I screamed, turning back to him. "How dare you come back and think things have changed. Because no, nothing's changed dad, you're still a low life who ruined my mothers life and I'm still that little girl who's petrified of your actions. So stay out of my life. I don't want you."

"Ava don't be like that. I've changed. I'm still your father." He tried to grab my hand but I pushed him away.

"I told you not to call me that, you have no right. Don't say you've changed because even my mother would know that is bullshit, even though you made her feel vulnerable and scared." I bitterly spoke. I don't know what was coming over me.

"I do have a right, you are my daughter." My father raised his voice.

"On paper, yes. But you are as dead to me as my mother is to you. Now get out of my sight, I hate you." I stormed away. Suddenly I stopped. "And if you think moving back in with your mother gives you a chance to patch up what you did, you are totally wrong. Me and Brad never plan to forgive you." I walked to my house and shut the gate, trying to catch my breath. Tears escaped my eyes as I ran into the house. I threw my bag down taking out my phone. I put it in my jean pocket and ran upstairs to my room. I grabbed Ashton's hoodie and put it on. I hated him right now but I felt close to him this way. I walked back downstairs quickly. I needed an escape and the thing that popped to mind wasn't me but I had to. I ran to the fridge taking out the cans and putting them in my school bag. I decided to take the back way since I did not plan to see my dad again. I ran out the back and made my way to the beach. It was a long walk but I didn't care. At my speed I soon got there. I fell on the sand and took out a can. I opened it and threw my head back drinking it. Fuck this, fuck it all. How dare Ashton treat me like this? How dare he just do that? I kept drinking and drinking until I started my second can. And as for my dad, why was he even bothering? I hated him. Fuck him. Fuck life. My head felt light as I giggled to myself. My phone was buzzing continuously but I ignored it.

"I see my hoodie still gets some use." I heard his voice ring around me. He jumped down the step and sat beside me.

"It's been a week, big whoop." I laughed and Ashton's grin escaped and turned into a frown.

"Are you drunk?" He sighed and I laughed loudly.

"Yeah you want one?" I tipped my bag upside down, emptying the contents out. Ashton took the one from my hand and poured it out on the sand beside him. But simply, I grabbed another one. Before I could even attempt opening it, he took it from me. "What the fuck Ashton?"

"What's going on Brooke?" Ashton looked at me and I looked back, trying not to cry.

"Me? What's going on? Maybe you should answer that one Ashton." I slur. He shook his head running his hands through his hair. God why did he have to be so god damn attractive.

"That's complicated Brooke."

"I don't give a fuck Ashton. I deserve to know what's going on in that mind of yours. Because it fucking hurts." I yelled and tears were down my cheek by down.

"Okay fuck Brooke. I was about to say I loved you." I watched Ashton yell. I gulped and stood up. Did he seriously just say it? I walked unsteadily to the water. "That's how you react? You walk away." Ashton easily caught up.

"Again... How I react? You left me in my own bed after I opened it to you when you came to me drunk. I was having a shit day but I did that for you. And you left. But my dads in town, why don't you get some pointers from him? Maybe drop the note though, that's too emphasising, you know-" Ashton stopped me and I nearly fell. I was buzzed for sure.

"Your dad... He's back?" Ashton stuttered and it shocked me that he was shocked.

"Yes he's back. Maybe you should meet him you know have the whole fucking reunion since 'I am his daughter'." I cried.

"Wait? You've spoke to him?" Ashton held me still and I nodded. "Oh Brooke, I'm so stupid." I felt his arms around me. My legs fell and I just cried. He held me tight as he fell to the ground with me.

"I'm scared of loving you too Ashton. But I do. But you can't do this all. It's too painful." I sighed. He kissed my forehead.

"I'm so sorry Brooke."

"I don't know if I can do this Ashton." I silently spoke. Ashton nodded.

"I understand. Maybe being friends should just be the way." Ashton suggested and I nodded, even if it wasn't what I wanted.