AFRAID {a.i.}

CHAPTER THIRTY

Song of the Chapter: High Hopes - Kodaline.

Weeks past by of more interviews, travelling and recording for the band, Ashton always made time for me though. I spent the time he was gone by working, applying for universities and other things like that. I refused to tell Ashton about any of my applications because it would either get his hopes up or upset him. I let my brother speak to me in the end, and he explained how it happened.

I was young, my mum fell pregnant but this was when my father wasn't providing anything for her. She tried to keep the girl, but after our dead left, she just couldn't cope. Bryony is now 6, I believe. Brad has her contact but refused to make anything possible without me.

Today was my lazy day. Ashton had to prepare for tonight's gig in the local venue nearby. I was invited and I planned to go. Brad said he would spend the door with me, but he was nowhere to be found. I hadn't felt good this morning and throughout the day I tried to prevent myself from vomiting. Soon enough, I couldn't help it. I was vomiting constantly. I kept telling myself it was probably what I ate but my mind was defying me.

"You know, this is the second time this week... And I don't think you are ill Brooke." Brad startled me as he walked into the bathroom, behind me. "If you were ill you would be in bed, pale and just ill. But this, you're sick or once, and you're fine for a bit." I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows. I stood up, flushed the toilet and washed my face and mouth out.

"I don't understand what you're saying." I walked back into my bedroom and sat on my bed, turning on the TV. Brad followed me back into my room and laid his body beside me.

"What I'm saying is... You could be pregnant." His words frightened me. I leaned forward and my mind flooded with memories. We didn't use protection.

"But.. I, I even took the morning after pill." I stuttered. Brad sat up and looked at me. I closed my eyes and put me hands through my hair.

"Look, don't panic. It might just be me, being me. I'll get you a pregnancy test." Brad stood up and started walking to my door.

"Brad," I called after him and he turned, "promise you won't hate me." I watched him chuckle and run back to me. His arms pulled me up into his embrace.

"Brooke, no matter what, you'll always be my sister and I'll be proud of you for whatever happens because I love you. I don't care how young you are. Just don't worry, please. I'll be back as soon as I can." Brad ran his hand through my hair and kissed the top of my head. "I love you little sis."

"I love you too." When he left, I fell onto my bed. Holding my stomach. What if I was pregnant, how would Ashton react, how would I cope? I know for sure I would keep it. I could never live with myself if I ever got rid of it. It, that it could be real and growing inside me. I panicked and stood up, pacing the room. I massaged my forehead and chewed my cheeks. I wasn't ready for any of this. What about university?

After pacing for about 10 minutes, my phone buzzed. I picked it up to see it was Ashton. He was FaceTiming me. Okay, Brooke, calm down. I accepted the call and put the camera onto me. Ashton smiled at me through the phone and I smiled back.

"Hey baby." The way he spoke, made me relax a little. I grinned wider.

"Hello there, how's things going?" I sat on my bed and he looked around. He was sat on a sofa with Michael next to him.

"Well everyone's really nice. I'm just excited for everyone to hear some of our new stuff, especially you. Are you still coming?" Ashton said with such pride. I nodded and he smiled. "I can't wait to see you."

"I miss you." was my reply and he smirked.

"I know you do." Ashton winked and I giggled. I watched Michael wave and I waved back. I sighed and looked at the door. Hurry the fuck up, Brad. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Um, well I was sick." I shrugged and his face fell.

"Again? Brooke you need to see someone about that. It's getting worrying." Ashton suggested and I shook my head.

"Maybe she's pregnant." They all laughed at Calum's joke. My heart sank. I tried to laugh but I couldn't, so I faked a smile instead. Ashton looked at me and laughed. Oh my god.

"No, I ate something funny." I lied and Ashton laughed again. I could tell he was relieved which disheartened me a lot more than it should. "Right, Brad is about to come in with some movies. I'll text you, promise. Enjoy yourself and I will see you later." Ashton frowned but nodded all the same.

"Love you."

"Love you too." I hung up and chucked my phone onto my pillow. I threw myself down on the bed and I squeezed my eyes shut. This can not be happening right now.

Brad came back with three tests. I couldn't help but feel sick. He handed me the tests and sent me into the bathroom. I shut the door and waited. I needed to just relax. It's not likely, but it's not unlikely. After a while, I did all three tests and came out of the bathroom, leaving them in there. This was all too much.

"Hey... Have you finished?" Brad patted the space beside him and I sat next to him. He put his arm around me and I rested my head in my palms.

"I just got to wait." I mumbled and he held me tighter. I couldn't wait much longer.

"It's going to be okay, Brooke. I know it is." Brad replied and I nodded. I took myself away from my hands and looked at my feet. It was just another minute or so. "What are you going to do if you are pregnant?"

"I don't know.. Keep it." I shrugged. "It's just what's Ashton going to do."

"He's a good person, B. I just think it's the shock." I stood up and looked at the clock. It was time.

"But hey, I'm probably not pregnant." I don't even know if I was trying to convince him or myself. I slowly walked into the bathroom and looked at the three tests, from a distance. I chewed my cheek and walked closer. I picked up the first one and looked down.

Pregnant.

I dropped it and picked up the second one.

Pregnant.

I dropped that one and picked up the third one.

Pregnant.