USF Progenitor & Crew: Adventures in Cosmos 01

[#9] Numerous Pastimes

Ka'eo, Stavros, Mana, and Peter were all on the Bridge, allowing the ship to divert most of its power to engines and AI control of ship functions. Ka'eo, in the meantime, was installing a Windows operating machine emulator (illegally, in essence) into his ship's terminal. He had just installed Windows 3.1 and booted it up to see if it would still work on the USF's own beefed-up operating systems.

"Uh, what the h$ll was that?" Stavros asked in response to a sudden Windows 3.1 startup sound.
"Din-diiin!" Peter mimicked.
Mana hissed sarcastically, "Ka'el? Turn that sh$t off! Nobody wants to hear you playing Sonic the f$cking Hedgehogs! Okay? We have work to do!"
"No," replied Ka'eo relaxedly. "I like it."
"Nooo. You like... to suck-d$cks, okay?! You like to install Windows d$ck point one in your ears!" Mana hit jokingly.
"No. I like to install Windows f$ck point in your a$$ on all of your computers is what I like to do," Ka'eo joked back.
Uuuugghhaall Mana exhaled in disapproval, causing Peter to cackle.
Stavros dried, "Yeah, while I'm trying to work here, Ka'eo likes devolving all of us back to nineteen ninety-five so we can feel small... and insignificant."
"Actually, back to nineteen ninety-one. Alright? Get it right, because it's going to be on the test!" Ka'eo corrected. "Now, every time you hear that sound?... You'll remember what it was like back on Earth, and why we're here... to install Windows three f$ck one c$ck hole on everyone's computers."
"Yeah. Every alien we come in contact with, we just ask where their computers are, and we install our most outdated and useless operating systems on it, making it like it's something they need to have," Stavros amused, chortling. "Here you go! Advanced alien technology from the planet Earth!"
Peter snorted, "Ka'eo, do you remember that thing you showed me... from Diablo? Where that guy went 'time... to die!'Flschk ah-ee-ah-oo-ah-ee-ah-uh-ah... wha-durn! Hhuuuaagghh!!'" He burst out laughing with Stavros and Mana.
Ka'eo mocked a wise, elderly tone, "Have you spoken to Jaren, yet? He's quite the remarkable leader!" He changed his tone back to his normal, bass-infused rasp. "Oops."
They all chuckled.
"Yeah," Peter acknowledged. "Imagine sending them a trojan that makes that sound, and then they look at us like-."

The overhead speaker sounded a chirp followed by an alert, and a synthetic woman's voice came through: Alert. We are approaching the Zerengan Asteroid mining field. We will be within the warp-free range zone in T-minus five minutes.

Stavros said, "That's f$ckin' cool. See? We're already there."
Peter exclaimed, "Isn't it?! F$ck, man. This really is a dream come true! Remember wanting this? When we were still f$cking troubled by all that Earth sh$t?"
Ka'eo looked at Peter briefly but refocused. "Nina, approximately how close are we to the G&H Diamond Drilling Corporation?" Ka'eo inquired to the ship's AI and system admin, Nina.

She responded: We are 35,500 meters away from the G&H Diamond Drilling Corp. Facility, and we are approaching it on a safe course in an estimated T-minus ten minutes and fifty three seconds.

"Nina, how far are we from Earth in miles?" Stavros injected into the inquiries. "American!" He exclaimed loudly.

She responded: We are 556.3 million miles away from the planet Earth.