USF Progenitor & Crew: Adventures in Cosmos 01

[#65] Something to Say

Ka'eo switched on the general comms, announcing all throughout the ship: Sup guys, this is Ka'eo, um, you can go ahead and, check out the vape cartridges and the vape machine I've got set up here. There's so much vape. I need your guys's help getting this place all vaped up. And then you can cruise. Thank me later. And by the way, we'll be landing soon. I hope you all read about it and are ready... for it. Planet Celium. The nineteenth. Get ready to land there, enjoy your vape, and please don't... you know, mess anything up. Thanks.

Peter quickly tapped into the comms and announced: Hey, and uh, don't forget, you guys can all check out the planet intel inside your emails. You should go ahead and do that, aaand if you want to come up to the command bridge to do that up here, we've got plenty of space, and a large TV display for everyone to see it. Anyways, yeah, thanks for... being here.

Ka'eo chimed in, announcing: Sorry about that, guys and gals, I know that nobody wanted to hear any of that.
Peter could be heard sighing in the background and saying, sarcastically, ohhh, thanks.
Ka'eo announced: For anyone that just heard that announcement, I'm just kidding around. That was a sensational announcement from our... from one of our expedition leaders... Peter Byusinav. I've known him for so many years now that we might as well be... you know. We're pretty much all best friends here on this ship. Thanks for listening and... yup, go vape! Go vape. Orange soda flavor. Vape.

Peter looked somewhat dismayed by what Ka'eo said, but he still snickered at the latter announcement. He asked Ka'eo, "Do you know what you just did? You made us sound like we're gay, you f$ck."
Max and Stravros cracked up.
Ka'eo grinned and said, "I know. Sorry about that. That's why-."
Peter complained softly, "No, now they're gonna think we're gay because you made it sound like we should be getting married, you idiot." He snickered at the occurrence, already over it, but still amused.
"That's why... I f$cking changed what was said! I said we are allll best friends-," Ka'eo attempted.
Peter interrupted, holding back from laughing, "No, that isn't fixing sh$t. Now shut your God d$mn beak up." He broke out into laughter and laid his head into his arms.
Stravros was cackling.
Max said, "Ka'eo! Now the whole ship knows you're gay!"
"You too, Peter," Stravros declared, laughing.
Peter was trying to say something else, but he couldn't stop laughing. He was even red in the face and on his ears. Peter asked, "Why did you say that?"
"Because!" Ka'eo started.
"Because you're both gay!" Stravros shouted.
Max rolled in laughter, barreling over on his seat and rolling himself backwards into the computer terminal.
Ka'eo and Peter both sighed before Peter snorted and went right back to laughing.
Ka'eo said, "I'll make it up to you! I can announce that we never had sex-."
Max interrupted and said, "Don't say that! That'll make it worse!"
"Yeah," Peter said, recovering. "Ka'eo, just-."
Stravros suggested, "Just drop it, that way they might forget about it." He chuckled, playing back what Ka'eo said in his head.
Max said, "Don't make things difficult for yourselves. You don't want to both be coming out of the closet before you get down with these chicks!"
Ka'eo coughed, sparking Stavros's and Peter's laughter. Ka'eo pretended to have a look of regret on his face, keeping on a slight smile. Then he said, "You know what-?"
"Nah," Peter said, chuckling. "You f$cked it all up!"
Laughter consumed the room while Ka'eo sat down in his chair and gave up, rolling himself into the computer terminal and turning on the computer.
Max said jokingly, "I knew you guys would come out eventually."
Stravros added, "I didn't want to say anything about it."
They both laughed while Peter snorted and laid his head down again into his arms.
Peter forced out an AAAHHT! He asked, "Why me?!"
Stravros laughed and said, "You're the one who likes hanging out with Ka'eo.
Max added jokingly, "In the nude. With your d$cks out. In each other's mouths." Max cracked up again, throwing himself down into his arms on the desk top.
"F$ck," Peter harshed, sounding disgusted and constipated. "F$cking sick... bastard, Max!"
Max cackled like a hyena.
Stravros jabbed, "How is he sick when you're the one who likes it in your a$$? Having sex with Ka'eo. After all this time?!?"
Peter forced out another AAAAAHHHT! AH-! AAAHD!! He pleaded with a harsh tone, "Please, shut the f$ck uuuUUUP!"
Ka'eo wasn't saying anything at all, knowing he couldn't reverse the past, so he might as well roll with it like he rolled with everything else. The room went silent, then Ka'eo sighed loudly in exasperation, sparking the room to laughter again.
Mana walked onto the command bridge and asked breathily in his subdued manner, "Will you guys shut the f$ck up? Now?"
"What, Mana?" Max asked.
Stravros played along, "What, Mana? We didn't hear you."
He chortled briefly then pretended to be serious again saying, "I said shut-! The f$ck-!"
Peter laughed before Mana finished his harsh demand.
Stravros said, "I still can't hear you," focused on his computer, playing the same videogame. Max chuckled, watching for Mana's reaction.
Stravros proclaimed, "I like how Ka'eo and Peter just went silent when Mana showed up."
Peter snorted and said, "Stravro. You a$$."
Stravros chuckled. Max caught on to what Stravros was saying and burst out laughing again.
Mana walked over to the computer terminals and sat on one of the chairs. He sighed and said, "Can you guys all... shut up? When is the ship landing?"
Peter said, "In a few hours. Look outside the cockpit."
Mana exclaimed, "Oh!" Then he walked up to the cockpit view and saw the planet getting closer and closer as they were still in outer orbit. Mana said, "Wow. That looks..."
"Real?" Peter asked.
Stravros chuckled and said, "Yeah, because it is!"
Mana tagged along and said, "It is." He sighed very comfortably. "It's been a long f$cking time."
"Since you've sucked Ka'eo's weiner?" Max joked, cackling again.
Stravros cackled.
"Dude," Mana began. "We're not f$cking gay, okay?"
"No, because you're just gay," Max bit.
Peter sighed in frustration then laughed, the room following suit, except for Ka'eo.
Mana resumed, "We also have... three hot chicks aboard. And I call dibs on that green and black haired one."
"Nooo, that one is mine!" Max declared with a face of caution.
Peter joked, "No! Because she's mine!" He chuckled to himself.
Mana said, "No, seriously. I saw her looking at me. She wasn't looking at you gay f$cks."
Stravros chuckled.
Max checked, "Oh, so now we're gay? Mana. You suck... d$cks! That's... gay!"
He, Stravros, and Peter cackled.
Mana shouted, "F$ck you, Max! You suck more d$cks than those three chicks combined!"
Peter and Max both went ohhhhhhh!!!
Mana shouted again, "Yeah! It's true!"
Max pretended to look defeated, taking the 'hit' playfully, and chuckling along. Peter was still hyping, amused by Max getting shut down by Mana's quick comebacks.
"Max likes to get his a$$ f$cked by monkeys! And zebras! And he likes it!" Mana roasted, continuing to shout in a subdued manner, "He has AIDS! Everyone come look! Everyone! Max wants to give everyone AIDS!"
Max was laughing, then coughing, leaning back in his chair like he had actually gotten shot up.
Mana roasted Max more with a higher-pitched squealing tone, "See? He's coughing! Look! He's coughing up blood! He has AIDS, and he got it from Stravros!"
Stravros chortled and said in a deeper tone, "Don't f$cking bring me into this, Mana. I only have sex with women."
Peter broke into laughter again, cackling weakly in his high pitch tone.
"Now everyone on the ship is going to die from AIDS poisoning!" Mana hit, as though informing everyone cautiously.
Max repeated, "AIDS poisoning," then fake chortled, holding a big grin.
"Yeah, because of you, Max," Mana reacted, getting Peter and Stravros to laugh more. Mana looked heated in a playful way, ready to dish out more.
Max tried to defend himself saying, "At least I don't-."
Mana interrupted going AAAAEEEHHL!!
Stravros and Peter were cackling, unable to stop themselves.
Max tried again and said, "Mana, at least I don't-."
Mana, again, gave a loud AAAaaAAEEEHHLL!!
Ka'eo was going back and forth between his PCD and his computer. An email hit his government account. After Ka'eo checked it out, he noticed it was from a USF officer from the strange sub-agency he had never heard of prior to their engagement with him at H&G Diamond Drilling Corp, the AICOS. He read the email: