The Moment I Knew | On-Going

CHAPTER 33

Nathaniel's POV

He seated on the available seat adjacent to mine. There, I met his eyes.

In fact, I don't even know what he's feeling right now. I could only guess.

I took a deep breath before starting to speak. But even so, there's no word that came out of my mouth. I closed it again and just stared at him.

Both of us were silent for a moment...

"Alam kong hindi ka pumunta rito para talaga dalawin ako. Hindi mo na kailangan pang gawin 'yon, Nathaniel," he said.

Maybe, he's right. I'm not really here because I wanted to. Maybe I was just trying to act like I care, but truthfully, I don't even understand myself anymore.

It might be because I'm feeling guilty. I was trying to resolve this because I'm feeling guilty. Gusto kong matawa sa sarili ko.

He's my love rival. Ah no... From the very start, I didn't even get the chance to fight. I already lost without even starting to fight.

I don't want to force myself to her anymore, but at the same time, I'm doing my best to remain by her side. Maybe, this is what I'm doing.

Really, I don't understand it at all.

I sighed.

"It's been a while that you've been here. How is it?"

"Tinatanong mo ba yan dahil kuryoso ka? O tinatanong mo dahil may paki ka talaga?"

"Sebastian–"

"Sorry. Pero hindi ko rin alam kung kanino ka talaga kakampi. Oo, alam kong gusto mong maayos ang sitwasyon dahil kay Diana. Pero hindi ko maiwasang isipin na may iba kang intensyon."

"I can't argue with you about that. You can think whatever you want."

"Pero kahit na ganoon, gusto kong magpasalamat. Even if your help for me was just incidental. Thank you."

Incidental...

He might be saying the truth...

"You know, things have become so complicated. Hindi ko masasabing wala akong kinalaman doon. Truthfully, if I've become honest with her, maybe things wouldn't escalated this way."

I saw him nod slowly. "If anything, lahat naman talaga tayo may parte sa nangyayari. Ikaw, ako... Part of me was also thinking if things would be better if I haven't met Diana that night. Pero iniisip ko palang na kung hindi rin kami nagkita ng gabing iyon, baka mas mapahamak pa siya. Kung hindi ko siya tinulungan, who knows what might happen."

And that's why I couldn't hate you completely...

I couldn't say Diana is in the wrong at all too. She might have bad decisions, but I believe that she only did what she thought was right...

I also did what I thought was right.

Seb too.

We all are.

How complicated...

Someone approached us saying that the time of visit was almost up. We just both nodded and meet each other's eyes.

"Well, it seems I have to go now. I'll let you know if there's any progress I can do with your case–"

"Nathaniel."

I stopped when he speak. I saw him reluctantly called. Maybe he was about to ask something that he thinks he must not.

I took a deep breath.