Deeper Healing

24| Worth It

Leilani Edwards

Your wounds will heal because that's what wounds are meant to do. Your cuts and scrapes may leave behind scars, reminding you of the fall or break, but they will heal and you will be stronger than you were before.

It's the same for heartbreaks and disappointments and failures. They might sting now, they might make you sick to the stomach, they might bring you to your knees right now, but soon you will heal. And soon you will be stronger than you ever were before. You will—

"What's that book you keep on reading?" Isla asked in a curious tone, peeking into the page I was on. "You were reading the same book the last time I saw you."

With a smile of satisfaction on my face, I turned to Isla while closing the book. "It's about positivity," I told her, slipping the book cautiously into my purse. "I got it from a special friend and I can't seem to be able to go through a day without reading it."

"I envy you," Isla hummed, sitting back on the park bench with her right leg crossed over her left knee. "I mean, I have like thousands of those back at home but can't seem to find enough motivation to be that invested."

I chuckled lightly, taking a shallow breath. "You will find it once you really need it."

Isla nodded, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "I guess so."

That was something I learnt from my struggles. Whenever it got really hard and dark, I found myself buried in pursuit of as much positivity as I could get and trying to keep myself from shutting out all the light. It was usually a struggle, but after four days of reading this book, I already felt like the light was shining a little bit brighter than all the other days of my life and there was still hope.

It had to give me that feeling. After all, he'd given it to me. Him. He was my current saving grace and the reason why I found myself having wishful thoughts lately and smiling a little bit wider than I was used to. Was everyone lucky enough to have such a ray of hope in their lives at some point?

I found my lips beguiling into a smile again for no reason, forcing me to look away as I hoped Isla hadn't noticed. She'd convinced me to join her to volunteer and donate blood and since I'd finished most of my assigned work for the day in the morning, I took the afternoon and the rest of the day off to make myself useful somewhere helpful to other people.

A trailer had been set up in the park and since we'd arrived thirty minutes earlier, the staff was still setting everything up and we had to wait for a bit, enjoying the sun and fresh air. Although there were quite many people already sitting around, waiting to donate blood, Nikolai and Alex hadn't arrived yet as Isla had informed me they'd be there.

I didn't know what it was going to be like being here together with the amount of tension between us since Monday night when we'd had our not-so-innocent encounter and having everyone around us to see that something was going on. I just prayed I wouldn't do anything to embarrass myself and since his closest friends would be around, he wouldn't completely ignore me. That'd be a bummer.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a gentle nudge on my shoulder. "Lani, I've been speaking to you for the last minute," Isla scolded, "you keep on spacing out and I'm getting kinda worried."

"I'm sorry," I apologised genuinely, shifting all my attention to her. "Being an adult isn't exactly the easiest thing and the stress keeps on mounting."

She shook her head, folding her arms. "You know, sometimes you just need to let go and live. Fuck—Blake or whoever is fucking with your peace. There's more to life than all that bullshit from centuries ago," she humoured.