Deeper Healing

69| Always And Forever

Leilani Edwards

I slowly peeled my eyes open, the soft hum of the aeroplane's engine and the gentle glow of the overhead lights greeting me.

A bit of confusion wrapped around my head. I didn't recall getting on this plane, but everything made sense when I slightly turned my head to my side.

I was met with Nikolai's warm, comforting smile, who sat beside me, holding my bandaged hand gently.

I remembered pounding my clenched fists into the window wall in a plight to escape after everything I'd tried using failed to shatter it. It made sense I'd broken my knuckles given the force I'd ended up using.

I took a deep breath, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. My body which had been wrecked with crippling discomfort and inexplicable illness for days now felt lighter, freer.

The fatigue, pain and nausea that had weighed me down seemed to be lifting, replaced by a renewed sense of energy and hope.

Nikolai's eyes crinkled at the corners as they smiled, his face etched with concern and care. "How are you feeling?" he whispered, his voice barely audible over the gentle woosh of the plane's air vents.

My lips curved into a weak but genuine smile. "Better," I whispered back, my voice husky from disuse. "Much better."

As I sat up, Nikolai helped me adjust my pillow and blanket, his touch gentle and soothing.

My gaze drifted out the window, where the sky stretched out in a brilliant blue canvas, dotted with puffy white clouds.

An overwhelming sense of gratitude washed over me, not just for my improved health, but for the love and care of the man I loved.

I gently squeezed his hand, my eyes locking onto his. "Thanks for being here with me," I said, my voice filled with emotion. "You're my guardian angel."

Nikolai's smile widened, his eyes shining with love and relief. "Always," he whispered back, his fingers intertwining with mine. "We're in this together."

I leaned close to him, following his eyes and observing him. Without him, I wouldn't have made it.

If he hadn't responded as quickly as he did and facilitated my treatment, I would have passed away, bitter and broken.

He saved my life so many times I'd lost count. He was my family, my home and my everything and I got to travel with him to wherever we were headed and possibly expand family with him someday in the future.

The fear of potentially losing me must've wrecked him. I couldn't bear the idea of losing him either.

My recklessness with someone whose perspective wouldn't change anytime soon nearly cost me not only my life but his peace too.

My eyes brimmed with tears, my voice clouded with emotion. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my words barely audible. "I'm sorry for leaving you, for almost abandoning you. I was so close to being gone and the thought of leaving you behind is unbearable."

My body slightly trembled with light sobs as I recalled the incident, the fear, the helplessness. "I was so scared, I didn't know if I'd make it. And I thought of never seeing you again, never holding you, never loving you—it was too much to bear."

I took a soft breath, holding his hand tighter. "Can you ever forgive me for putting you through that? For making you think you'd lose me?"

My eyes locked onto his, searching for understanding, for absolution. "I promise to never take our time together for granted. I promise to cherish every moment, every breath and every heartbeat."